Being insane in this world is a good indication that you are in fact not insane. I feel you though. Diving head first, shamelessly (important) got me there. Rebelling against this bs by only listening to your inner child with zero judgement is white hot.
Everybody is different but when I felt that way what fixed me was doing some mushrooms to reset my brain and then forcing myself later in the week to bundle up and go jogging for a couple miles each day.
Then at that point all I needed was a lil sativa and maybe some coffee and I'm locked in
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Then at that point all I needed was a lil sativa and maybe some coffee and I'm locked in