Dear manager, this week I acheived these goals.
1: I wrote a bullet point.
2: I wrote a second, equally clever bullet point.
3: Building on prior successful bullet points, I developed and implemented a third bullet point.
4: I drafted, edited and published a 4th bullet.
5: Egged a cybertruck
1: I wrote a bullet point.
2: I wrote a second, equally clever bullet point.
3: Building on prior successful bullet points, I developed and implemented a third bullet point.
4: I drafted, edited and published a 4th bullet.
5: Egged a cybertruck
Comments
You’re fired.
But I support EVs & I am against vandalism. (Not an allegorical statement.)
Www.ko-fi.com/dellak
…I even have some rotten ones.
- made outrageous claims like inventing the question mark
- accused chestnuts of being lazy
- held the general malaise that only the mad possess & genius lament
- when I was insolent I was put in a burlap sack & beaten with reeds
- had my testicles ritualistically shaved
I told my husband “bet they don’t wash their ass either”.
It was gross. And the truck is ugly. Never seen one in person before.
Ugly CEO too.
“I stole another player’s cybertruck in Fortnite specifically so I could crash it.
Bonus #6: since I was asked to work the weekend, I’ll see you Wednesday 😂
Get yourself a temp email address & go wild.
Thank you for your self-service. 😉
Now, get back to work! 😆
Carry on. And good luck!
Wait, this is the darkest timeline. Sorry.
"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
2025.
Donald Trump with Musk and MAGA are committing treason.
Arrest the traitors
2: I did the work of at least four eliminated positions.
3: I calculated loss of funding for indirect costs.
4: I met with colleagues on navigating this hellscape.
5: I developed outstanding materials that may or may not align with current felon admin policies.
Talking of eggs....Trumptin did say they would be very cheep by the end of the first day. Cracks me up this!
How's it working out for you on the egg front?
Don't forget 50hrs overtime that 10hrs per bullet!
Seems fair!
2. I stepped outside
3. I took a deep breath
4. I got real high
5. I screamed for the top of my lungs FUCK YOU ELON!
But remember to be peaceful
1. I submitted billions of dollars of propositions to government.
2. I secured said contracts.
3. I bought a president.
4. I defunded every oversight agency regulating my businesses.
5. I cleaned broken egg off my sweet, sweet truck.
I would have needed, "No time for bulletpoints on this document. Dashes are less toner. By 1/1000th of a milliliter." Whoa I'm keeping that word with my vision it looks like mlllllllter, Imma try to claim it since it doesn't seem desireable.
5th=respect ✊️
2. Rang my Congresswoman and complained about the current administration.
3. Rang my Governor and complained about the current administration.
4. Rang the Whitehouse and complained about the current administration.
5. Had coffee
1. I woke up relatively on time.
2. I drank somewhat palatable coffee
3. I took a shit
4. I used my Elon-face Toilet paper to wipe my butt
5. I resourced a plunger to shove that shit down the drain, wishing I was plunging DOGE
"5: Composted vegan egg substitute (past expired date) in stainless steel vessel."
Building on the invaluable work of my colleague, I reorganized and titled the first three bullet points developed by the Manager of Bullet Point Services. The most recent iteration of the bullets is as follows:
- Bullet 1: Deny
- Bullet 2: Defend
- Bullet 3: Depose
*looks in carton*
I have a carton of 8 and a soon to be dead flatmate.