& if that feeling is only less now than it was on the bird app before (back when it already sucked, but for less horrifying reasons), it's only because I haven't spent enough time here to look for all the people I lost, either via the platform switch, or to the fog of memory loss.
I still feel it.
I still feel it.
Comments
My brain gets overloaded with trying to game out what to say and how they might respond & the only way to win that game is not to play
The bird site used to be a pretty good chat room in the sense of, it used to be a place I could go to talk to myself to talk to people
But whenever I needed I talk to people, I could slip into my own little warm toasty pool of Online, relax & play & be comforted by my friends
& I would love to be doing that right now but trying to do that feels like trying to build a house during a monsoon
A killing blizzard of Real Life Shit is happening right now and I find myself in possession of insufficient protection from the inclement weather
Just wanted to say that this resonates really hard. I don’t know if it’s my (recently diagnosed!) AuDHD or garden variety anxiety, but I post/reply only ~5% of the time I actually want to for this very reason. Knowing friends also struggle with this makes it a bit easier for me. 💚