alisonmalort.bsky.social
Harpy. Millennial Chaos Demon. Chicagoland. Microbiologist. O-negative blood donor. Part-time weeb. Sometimes I run marathons. ALWAYS hungry. BLM. KICK. TERFs not allowed. She/her. 🖤🤍💜🩶
713 posts
1,484 followers
101 following
Prolific Poster
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I can see why you are the way you are. 🤣
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Why does no one in this fuckass state know how to drive?
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Maryland, what the absolute fuck is up with your traffic today on the interstate???? How was Indiana the least stressful part of this drive? Ohio had us literally stopped on the highway for 45 minutes because of an accident. Pennsylvania’s twisty and curvy and narrow highway was terrifying.
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Video proof of #1 since it happened 10 years ago yesterday. (I make no apologies for the shit quality — it was 2015, man.)
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I rarely ever drink anymore cuz I’m an Old who can’t hang, but pretty sure I could still handle a shot of Everclear, man.
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3. After we graduated college, we celebrated. 14 drinks deep, I still remember walking home with a friend and pulling out my phone to just tweet, “Bad.” I remember the whole night!
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Loved the huge turnout in Crown Point! Only a couple MAGA dipshits nearby who *attempted* to be annoying but really only succeeded in making themselves look even more pathetic. Some dipshit in a truck tried to flip us off and rear-ended someone instead. Cops moved in and everyone chanted, “KARMA!”