Profile avatar
alpacawhacka.bsky.social
🗓️ 40yo, but bones are at least 75yo 🏳️‍🌈 he/him, bi 💖 happily married 📍 Philadelphia 💿 music omnivore but swoons for Ty Segall 🎧 low-key off-key audiophile 📚📽️ fantasy/scifi sponge 🐕‍🦺 professional dog itch-scratcher 🍜 cheap ramen connoisseur
640 posts 317 followers 916 following
Prolific Poster
Active Commenter
Posts 30 Comments 20

Stargazing and can’t find that Mazzy Star…

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

Your outie understands when someone is making a joke on the internet and doesn't embarrass themselves in people's replies

submitted 4 days ago • 67 comments

Mood

submitted 9 days ago • 11 comments

#meme #memes #startrek

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah, but have you tried listening to Swedish Death Metal about it?

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

These sappy commercials are trying to get me right in the feels ... but little do they know that in 2025 I don't have any feels left.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

7-layer dip you dip we dip

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

these fucks fold if you fight back

submitted 16 days ago • 67 comments

Me in Microsoft Teams when I mean to click unmute but accidentally click the camera button next to it and the whole meeting sees me flash on screen in a compromising and embarrassing state while silently scrambling to turn the camera off again. #sqrlpix

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

Time to snuggle with some music…

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

"I hope this email finds you well." ... how your email found me:

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Arby's says they have the meats but thirty seven stores later and they've all thrown me out for ordering haggis.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Chef's Secret Recipe Tip: You can turn any soup into egg drop soup if you're a clumsy fuck.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

you’re so fucking beautiful

submitted 20 days ago • 5 comments

I hate it when you go to a fancy restaurant and the food tastes like the chef doesn't have any tattoos

submitted 21 days ago • 53 comments

Strange mammals lying in burrows distributing forecasts is no basis for a system of planning outdoor activities…

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Love me for my classic rock era, accept me for the disco era

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Ugh. I need a vacation. *moves from bed to couch*

submitted 23 days ago • 2 comments

Sorry, can't. I'm getting all dolled up to take my Costco membership photo.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

🎼🎵Maybe she's born with it...🎶 🎶or maybe it's A 5LB BUCKET OF DURVITE CONDITIONING SUPPLEMENT🎵

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Started a band called ‘Duvet.’ All we play are covers

submitted 30 days ago • 227 comments

Oh look what's back in stock honey, Costco has the white caskets with the plexiglass sneeze guard on top!

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you go into the timeout pool of ice, Brent.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Terf isn't a slur. There's nothing about being a terf that is an indelible, permanent part of who you are, a trait you were born with, or a class, ability, or education disadvantge. It's a choice you make to deaden your heart.

submitted 31 days ago • 3 comments

I came here to teach archaeology and punch Nazis And they just defunded the humanities

submitted 34 days ago • 4 comments

Ok I put “Freebird” over the airboat in the snow.

submitted 33 days ago • 39 comments

For Blue Monday we can't think of anything more appropriate than this charming depiction of a man getting his face eaten off by a leopard. #MosaicMonday

submitted 34 days ago • 195 comments

Audiophile friends: here is hours of counterprogramming for you today. The complete collection of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches thanks to the @archive.org. archive.org/details/Mart... 1/

submitted 34 days ago • 20 comments

Starting an astronomy club called Star Whores

submitted 34 days ago • 22 comments