amancalledsplorg.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Might get fired next week. I'll lyk i guess lol

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Target is just biding its time until I've stolen a thousand dollars worth of plastic grocery bags

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Coffee for what we can change, cannabis for what we can’t.

submitted 66 days ago • 33 comments

Problematic director list: – Spielberg (abused dinosaurs) – Aster (won’t return my emails about muppet midsommar) – Villeneuve (French Canadian)

submitted 81 days ago • 133 comments

Fallout franchise: you are the apex predator of a fallen world. Do drugs, have fun, get revenge. Colony Ship: you are a rat on a sinking vessel. Every moment you draw breath in these rusted corridors is a blessing. Watch out for frogs.

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

Nick Fuentes of your body my choice fame has been arrested for spraying a woman in the face with mace. Maybe he can see how his slogan works in jail.

submitted 90 days ago • 266 comments

attention NYPD: I have identified the united ceo shooter as "Jesse Singal". He is heavily armed and was last overheard saying "I will smoke any pig in my path on sight". I hope this information leads to his apprehension dead or alive.

submitted 90 days ago • 5 comments

BREAKING: Infamous white nationalist Nick Fuentes is charged with battery after he allegedly pepper-sprayed and shoved a 57-year-old woman to the ground for showing up at his house. He's set to appear in court on December 19th. Like and share if you hope that he's convicted!

submitted 90 days ago • 435 comments

SNL has always been bad at punchlines, but they would've been well served to take a leaf out of Monty Python's playbook: have the gayest member of the cast dress up like a military officer and shout at the audience that the skit is both dumb and over.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

The whole internet loves the anonymous assassin who got away with offing a health insurance CEO five seconds later We are excited to report that the assassin is cute

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

To avoid disappointment, take people exactly as they are, instead of idealizing about what you wish they would be.

submitted 91 days ago • 37 comments

Three things are true: 1) Green bell peppers are just crunchy water. 2) Poblanos are what green bell peppers should be. 3) Any dish that utilizes green bell peppers would be made better by substituting poblanos.

submitted 92 days ago • 260 comments

Reached the bottom of the feed. Back now!

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

Pixar rejected my Up sequel Down. Carl tying boulders to his house to drag it underground so he can rescue Ellie from hell “didn’t make sense” according to the suits. “Why is Ellie in hell? She didn’t commit any sins.” Yes she did, hubris

submitted 91 days ago • 88 comments

It's really too bad they're never going to find that guy huh...

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

Oh to beat a motherfucker's ass in the manner of a swan...

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

A clue! But to what... #splorgthoughts

submitted 91 days ago • 1 comment

Duolingo Owl's less successful brother, Monosyllable Owl

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

Why do #crows turn over this specific type of moss? Is it home to a specific type of bug?

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

Beautiful scammers pls stop following me. I am stupid and horny, but I am also very poor.

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

Last winter you put a little pillow on top of the radiator for me. Last year you loved me more I guess, that’s ok it’s totally fine. I’m fine

submitted 93 days ago • 190 comments

if she’s squeamish about getting her hands and face sticky eating ribs she probably won’t do that thing you like

submitted 95 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 94 days ago • 12 comments

More men need to tell us they've never been a fan of The Beatles. It shows an independence of thought but also profound intellectual insight; a refusal to run with the herd. I especially like to see it in response to someone expressing their love of the group. It's outspoken, contrary and brave.

submitted 95 days ago • 1349 comments

The Witcher 3 is a masterpiece btw, just in case if you were wondering.

submitted 99 days ago • 39 comments

In the Japanese version of Resident Evil, it's called Tanuki City.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Scrabbling at the wrapper on a Jimmy John's sandwich like a raccoon

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Rudy Giuliani whining about not having any money or savings is my favorite Thanksgiving song.

submitted 99 days ago • 428 comments

Old Johnny Cash — with that frail, quavery baritone — could have sung “The Monster Mash” and made me teary.

submitted 100 days ago • 27 comments

cockwarming and christmas movies?❄️✨

submitted 101 days ago • 4 comments

mr beast should be hunted for sport live on peacock plus

submitted 101 days ago • 211 comments

Wow Bluesky is so cool! It's gonna be the next Mastodon I can just feel it.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

Lisa Ann pls come to Bluesky

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

Idea for a New Yorker cartoon: a doctor telling a troubled looking patient, "Here's your problem- It looks like you're paying attention to what's going on." Is that anything?

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

I feel like Druski should be here

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments