anewkindofmonster.bsky.social
Researcher, author
https://www.anewkindofmonster.com/
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The song "Monster Mash" is a song about ANOTHER song that the monsters were (allegedly) dancing to. Yet there is no information in Monster Mash about what that other song really was. The question of the original song should be central to all Monster Mash analyses and investigations.
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I'm thinking that my criminal nickname will be "Fat Slice."
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My best guess is that this was the original song: youtube.com/watch?v=A3i2...
Anyone else have any theories?
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24/24 - The goat herder studied the object. A small, faint light small pulsed within it. He wiped the dust away with his palm, and, to his horror, saw the ancient symbols portending ruin and misery: Loading 332.0…
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23/24 - A thousand years later, a young goat herder stumbled into a cave carved into a rocky hill in the remote desert. Deep in the darkness, a black rectangle lay half buried in dust.
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22/24 - “We must move quickly on this,” the chairman continued. “I move that we schedule the fix for the first patch. Currently scheduled to be released in five years.” The chairman’s motion passed.
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21/24 - Finally the members of the change control board entered the hallowed chamber. “We have only one item on the agenda,” the chairman said solemnly. “A priority 1 issue. Reproducible. Impacts multiple requirements.”
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20/24 - For four weeks the world waited and suffered. Power plants, water treatment plants, food and medical logistics systems were all frozen. “Loading 332.0” had become a curse. A harbinger of the downfall of civilization.
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19/24 - The board was not present, so the intern left the problem report on the dais. The board only meets once a month, and had adjourned only yesterday. They would not convene again for four weeks.
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18/24 - Up and up, through the massive library of requirements, through the temple of block diagrams, finally passing through the golden arched gateway inscribed with the words “Change Control Board.”
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17/24 - The intern carried the hand-written report through the halls of the ministry. Through cubicle farms so vast, each took an hour to cross. Past the gateway to the chamber of user experience, where deep blue and green fog swirled on the floor
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16/24 - The ministry door cracked open. A worried face emerged from the gloom. “Yes?” The messenger replied: “I have a bug report for you. Priority one. Mission critical. Reproducible.“
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15/24 - She climbed the 1024 steps to the entrance to the Ministry without pausing for rest. She lifted the massive brass ring and brought it down on the ancient door with a thunderous knock.
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14/24 - Thousands of people stood by, watching. People climbed lamp posts and scaled the memorial to the victims of multithreading and leaned out of the windows of the buildings lining the Plaza of Interpreters to get a view of the messenger.
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13/24 - She climbed off the horse in the center of Compiler Square and walked the final three hundred meters to the Ministry.
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12/24 - No vehicles were operating. No telecommunication systems were operating. Finally a rider on horseback was dispatched from the Palace of the Governing Body. She carried a hand-written document from the Palace to the Ministry of Software Engineering
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11/24 - An hour. A day. A week. “Loading 332.0” was all there was.
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10/24 - 10 seconds … “Loading 332.0” … 60 seconds … Every computer screen on Earth still said “Loading 332.0” Five billion people asked five billion others. “How long is it supposed to take?“
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9/24 - … 298 ... 299 … 300 seconds! Power on. Ten billion fingers flipped ten billion power switches. Ten billion tiny blinking rectangles appeared in the upper left of the displays. Then the words appeared: “Loading version 332.0.” Then … nothing else.
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8/24 - Upgrade day! Reboot hour! 3 … 2 … 1! Everything was switched off. Everything. Every screen on Earth was a dead black rectangle. Every network cable was a de-energized dark and silent conduit. 1 … 2 … 3... The five minute count before restart began.
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7/24 - On upgrade day, every computer would be turned off and on. Every vehicle, factory, telecommunication system, planning system, reporting system, bookkeeping system, network switch, and game console would be powered off and restarted at the same instant.
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6/24 - At last, the Ministry of Software Engineering announced that the new version of the global combined OS and app-suite was ready. Upgrade day would be a whole-Earth holiday. All the activities of civilization would pause as the world performed the upgrade to version 332.0.
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5/24 - To accelerate the schedule, the requirement for backwards compatibility was removed. The entire world - every computer on Earth - would simply be upgraded at the same time. This one decision shaved decades off the development timeline. Centuries, perhaps.
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4/24 - The coders fell behind schedule immediately. 70 years since project kickoff … 80 years ... 90 years ... and still no release in sight. Then - a tradeoff was made.
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3/24 - Of that 108 years of development, the Ministry of Software Engineering had spent 25 years creating the requirements. Another 35 years were spent on design. 60 years after the project was started, the specifications were handed to the coders.
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2/24 - Four generations grew, lived, and died with the same apps. With the same features, capabilities, limitations, and bugs. Children used the same word processors and played the same electronic card games as their great grandparents.
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That is a good question to ask the developers at Substack - the current world leader in Y-axis innovation