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apeshizz.bsky.social
Midwest nice
11 posts 227 followers 1,013 following
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Europe has designated Macron as their moron whisperer.

Fully dissociated during the flesh-hat commercial, which was like the fetid afterbirth of the tongue horror ad.

We're watching a bunch of guys who were born on third base strip the copper wiring out of the ballpark.

Hunter Biden’s laptop doesn’t have my SSN on it.

@corybooker.com hello I used to run the Wendy’s Twitter account and I am begging you to let me help you with the dems social media strategy, I will literally do it for free at this point

all you people who told us to calm down can go fuck yourselves

I'm old enough to remember when Republican politicians could denounce Nazis without alienating their base.

Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde Hero.

Why do I get the feeling that the first new weapon we develop is going to be one that masks the smell of alcohol?

John Roberts is very upset that the public has lost confidence in John Roberts and the institution John Roberts leads following a series of confidence-cratering actions by John Roberts and his colleagues, and therefore would like everyone to know that this is not John Roberts' fault, it's yours.

Me before the 2024 election cycle Vs Me after

Fam, they let a Pop-Tarts mascot go to a hospital and meet newborns. Now we're going to have to do a longitudinal study on these babies.

america isn’t even a country, it’s just three military contractors in a trench coat

Is it possible that what we’ve been calling the “American Dream” is really a nice way of saying that in America, money is valued above all else—even love of country and our fellow man/woman?

Clear to everyone outside of America that America fd itself and is about to suffer except to actual Americans who think price of eggs are about to go down.

he's gonna leave office with an immunity idol in his pocket

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.

I'm just not so sure the presidency and the position of attorney general were meant to be safe havens for people trying to avoid prison time

Nice one, Lions