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appellative.bsky.social
89 posts 3 followers 1 following
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comically flatten me with your steamroller and fold me up like an origami crane

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"sir dont vomit on my baby!" excuse me i am building their immune system if it wasn't so weak they won't get sick? welcome

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

profanities and slurs are overrated JUST SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

New Australian flag idea to represent all six states: Red is the sunburnt QLD Orange is the deserts of WA Yellow is the pristine beaches of NSW Green is the forests of TAS Blue is the water of VIC Purple is the sunsets of SA Fuck Northern Terroritory and ACT. 🖕🖕🖕

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

aliens was someones first introduction to mpreg

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

no backshot for me honey my angel wings sprouting are overdue any second now

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

do you defrost the ice cream before cooking it or can it can go straight in to the slow cooker?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

video games in 2033 will cost money

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

my 11-month-old kid was an undercover cop

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

i passed the bar exam i'm laywer

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The song Bohemian Rhapsody is about a young man committing crimes against humanity in the Bosnian War. That man? Freddie Mercury.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

What if David Bowie sung about Minor Tom instead?

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

on this day 17 years ago i killed myself

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

locked myself outside for the night it dark

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

to all the fathers around the world LOOK OUT the menedez brothers are freeeeeeeeeeeeee

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

this coming friday we should all beat karls with hammers CELBRATE!

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

the women get wet when they see my $20,000 gambling debt

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

The genie when I wish him a happy birthday

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Do you guys turn the braille on or off with your anime?!

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

I have advanced to a trisexual. I know the forbidden sex.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

I put the ART in to SMART

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

What if Jack Black said CHICKEN HOCKEY instead and Canadians came rushing out.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

My height is too large, they won't let me read any of the short stories.

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

We're seven minutes into the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and nobody has asked me my favourite drink. I'm starting to think they don't care.

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

All this aura farming and no crops to show for it. Those seeds were faulty.

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

CALLING ALL CAVEDIVERS. MONEY IS GOING TO BE TIGHT THESE NEXT FEW YEARS, WRIGGLE INTO YOUR MONEY.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Ego deathers want to kill their selves.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

incredible hulk big green fuck go back to your planet you green alien shit 100kg benchpress asteroids BITCH

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

Grand Theft Auto: VI has been banned in Australia. Following thousands of complaints from safe-driving advocates on the feature where you can drive and use your mobile phone simultaneously.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

Nintendo after Bigfoot and UFO spotters learn about the Switch 2's camera accessory.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

If the global was perfect, it would be all Madagascars.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

On the 30th of March, Jim Bluesky (founder of BlueSky) will be executed by banana radiation poisoning.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Ninja smoke bombs have been made illegal following link to lung cancer.

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

you cant strangle tibetan monks they dont breathe manyou cant strangle tibetan monks they dont breathe manyou cant strangle tibetan monks they dont breathe manyou cant strangle tibetan monks they dont breathe manyou cant strangle tibetan monks they dont breathe manyou cant strangle tibetan monks the

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

i cant believe dog would said that!!!

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

Using my time machine to give Anne Frank a fancy fountain pen.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

spongerrol

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

J.D. Vance has lost his purse. Can you help him find it?

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Today I gave myself a chance to try painting. I call this piece 'Brief Silence Over the Sea'. I used watercolour paint. #art

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Adam Sandler fans express deep concerns that Happy Gilmore 2 might actually be tangibly funny.

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

All old people who fail to meet their weekly quota of disrupting retail workers will be given sudden cardiac arrest. No exceptions.

submitted 131 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 139 days ago • 0 comments

HELLO KITTY MUGS?

submitted 139 days ago • 0 comments