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asclepiasrosa.bsky.social

Rebuilding after a social media holiday. Professional ruminator. Gluten-free Canadian noodler 🇨🇦 Morning coffee muse to @natesmith.dev My Skweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xivg7qzusrwm5tk2djn7kgq2/feed/aaaa4oajl5d6s

500 posts 291 followers 167 following

Posts 35 Comments 14

I rate hotels based on proximity to quality corn dogs

submitted 19 hours ago • 2 comments

I'm "drunk as a skunk" "ate some rotten apples I found on the ground and farted all day"

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Just learned today that 92% of US import consumption is dolls for beautiful little girls. Higher than I would have expected!

submitted 1 day ago • 583 comments

Hell yeah, just got added to the “Indo-Pak PC Small Group” on Signal

submitted 1 day ago • 74 comments

A kimono is not proper attire for a construction site, I’m being told.

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

Met gala organizers: tailored office wear with bold shoulders is back in style me at the office tomorrow:

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

therapist: do you know what you use humor to avoid? me: curling up into a ball and sobbing uncontrollably for hours? therapist: me: therapist: yup

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

inside of you is one wolf - due to the 100% wolf tariff you couldn't afford two.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Instructions to cook Kevin Bacon 1) Preheat oven to six degrees

submitted 45 days ago • 3 comments

This was a big week for ‘jouska’ which is the experience of a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I just want to have 2 tacos but if God wants me to have 4, then 13 it is

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

gotta haunt the historic B&B myself ‘cause we’re the only souls in the house

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Tariffs are taxation without representation. We wrote a whole Declaration of Independence about it. Threw tea in the harbor and everything.

submitted 2 days ago • 691 comments

managing a young department means spending 10 minutes eyeballing the quarterly budget and 40 bazillion hours supporting the people

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

much like the Book of Genesis, this CEO message has 4 distinct authors

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I’m all alone at the office today

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Wet t-shirt contest* at my house! *washing muffin pans with a sprayer

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Did you know the “weekend” and working only 8 hours per day used to be considered a radical, liberal idea? 139 years ago today, in Bay View, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 7 workers (including a 13 yo) lost their lives to advance this revolutionary idea. A 🧵

submitted 2 days ago • 276 comments

If these are growing pains, I'm gonna be huge

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

I would cheerfully pay extra for packaging that isn't child-proof

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

Flexing on your toddler by reading the bedtime story

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I love living dangerously in a city with limited left hand turn infrastructure

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

When I first read about the Marquis de Sade I thought "this can't be the same person who sang Smooth Operator"

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!!

submitted 6 days ago • 1931 comments

on the scale of calm- to helicopter- parent, I’m slightly airborne

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

‘i’m not an adrenaline junkie,’ I whisper to myself as I submit my tax return 10 minutes before midnight on the filing deadline

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Under the terms of a new trade alliance with Mexico, Canada has renamed the Schuylkill River in Philly the ‘Skookum’ River.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

my retired neighbour: if my wife gives me the boot, you’ll have to help me with my online dating profile me: I’ve never tried online dating, my partner and I met doing heavy PETing [“pre-Elon Twitter”]

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

If you’re not going to let me work from home, then I’m going to home from work (takes off pants).

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

your fingers wrapped around my thumb have me wrapped around your finger

submitted 7 days ago • 25 comments

I rate hotels based on proximity to quality corn dogs

I'm "drunk as a skunk" "ate some rotten apples I found on the ground and farted all day"

Just learned today that 92% of US import consumption is dolls for beautiful little girls. Higher than I would have expected!

Hell yeah, just got added to the “Indo-Pak PC Small Group” on Signal

A kimono is not proper attire for a construction site, I’m being told.

Met gala organizers: tailored office wear with bold shoulders is back in style me at the office tomorrow:

therapist: do you know what you use humor to avoid? me: curling up into a ball and sobbing uncontrollably for hours? therapist: me: therapist: yup

inside of you is one wolf - due to the 100% wolf tariff you couldn't afford two.

Instructions to cook Kevin Bacon 1) Preheat oven to six degrees

This was a big week for ‘jouska’ which is the experience of a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head

I just want to have 2 tacos but if God wants me to have 4, then 13 it is

gotta haunt the historic B&B myself ‘cause we’re the only souls in the house

Tariffs are taxation without representation. We wrote a whole Declaration of Independence about it. Threw tea in the harbor and everything.

managing a young department means spending 10 minutes eyeballing the quarterly budget and 40 bazillion hours supporting the people

much like the Book of Genesis, this CEO message has 4 distinct authors

I’m all alone at the office today

Wet t-shirt contest* at my house! *washing muffin pans with a sprayer

Did you know the “weekend” and working only 8 hours per day used to be considered a radical, liberal idea? 139 years ago today, in Bay View, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 7 workers (including a 13 yo) lost their lives to advance this revolutionary idea. A 🧵

If these are growing pains, I'm gonna be huge

I would cheerfully pay extra for packaging that isn't child-proof

Flexing on your toddler by reading the bedtime story

I love living dangerously in a city with limited left hand turn infrastructure

When I first read about the Marquis de Sade I thought "this can't be the same person who sang Smooth Operator"

LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!!

on the scale of calm- to helicopter- parent, I’m slightly airborne

‘i’m not an adrenaline junkie,’ I whisper to myself as I submit my tax return 10 minutes before midnight on the filing deadline

Under the terms of a new trade alliance with Mexico, Canada has renamed the Schuylkill River in Philly the ‘Skookum’ River.

my retired neighbour: if my wife gives me the boot, you’ll have to help me with my online dating profile me: I’ve never tried online dating, my partner and I met doing heavy PETing [“pre-Elon Twitter”]

If you’re not going to let me work from home, then I’m going to home from work (takes off pants).

your fingers wrapped around my thumb have me wrapped around your finger

if you grew up in a dysfunctional / broken family, often your biggest dreams are a secure home and a stable partner

My hidden trauma is looking for your hidden trauma.

if the Swedish chef and Bjork had a baby together, it would be a Spork

in his regional dialect the Swedish chef was saying borscht borscht borscht

She was rare, like a political extremist with critical thinking skills.