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ashhull.bsky.social
Sad clown with a caffeine buzz. More ducks less people. Brain goo ... bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaalyyxhyda6q
30,840 posts 12,365 followers 1,226 following
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Posts 47 Comments 3

Now wait just a ding-a-ling darn minute.

submitted 42 minutes ago • 0 comments

The lower the bar of your happiness, the happier you will be.

submitted 12 hours ago • 3 comments

I brought leftovers home, help yourself.

submitted 30 minutes ago • 0 comments

*talking to a goose No, my name is Hank. Haaaank

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

early bird songs sound like good morning but it’s really “anybody wanna bump flaps?”

submitted 15 hours ago • 5 comments

midnight macabre

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

putting myself under the full moon to recharge

submitted 57 minutes ago • 1 comment

GPS, but for avoiding anyone you know

submitted 2 hours ago • 5 comments

I got exhausted just looking at your face

submitted 2 hours ago • 4 comments

We should bring back “that’s so fetch!” as a compliment wait no that’s an atrocious idea let’s not do that ever.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

milf actually stands for manatees I'd love to free

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

never appreciated how much being an eternal optimist helps with sleep

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

23 and me but it’s 23 excuses

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

Happy Pay-Increase-just-barely-covers-owed-taxes Day to those who celebrate!🎉

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

My moral compass is heavily influenced by her magnetic personality

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Woke up as an enemy of the state again

submitted 18 hours ago • 5 comments

That’s me I’m Jack Horner. That’s me with a hot pie, choosing thumb incision…

submitted 16 hours ago • 4 comments

Dude man some crazy ass shit went DOWN last night! So the end credits were rolling for Guys and Dolls, then BAM, fuckin Oklahoma! started up automatically. Like goddamn magic. Totally sick. Pass the apricot preserves, my guy.

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

trying to avoid the subject of my secret fight club after running into a coworker at target while pushing an entire cart full of bandaids

submitted 1 hour ago • 6 comments

When did people start having better things to do on Saturday night?

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

Thank you all for taking every opportunity to make it weird.

submitted 1 hour ago • 10 comments

These feelings ain’t gonna hurt themselves, people. (Actually, they might.)

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Judge, Judy, and Executioner

submitted 4 hours ago • 3 comments

I just had an epiphany. I'll let you know what it is when I figure out what it means...

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

I wouldn’t worry about my medication, I’d worry if you are a cunt to me or not.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Some people think they’re the Crème de la crème, when in reality they’re a pot of cottage cheese that’s been in the back of the fridge forgot about for the last year that stinks to high heavens.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Not to brag, but I had "hip dips" long before they became trendy.

submitted 15 hours ago • 1 comment

RIO, is what appears to be written on the paper bag in which my hoagie is wrapped. Does this mean the sandwich wrapper is the Duran Duran girlfriend who dances on the sand? Or is this just a code for a regular size number 10 sub?

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I see people my age mountain climbing...Me I'm just happy to put both legs through my boxers without falling over

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

It’s hard to walk away seductively in flip-flops.

submitted 8 hours ago • 15 comments

Some things are better left slurred inaudibly.

submitted 5 hours ago • 4 comments

pro tip: if you’re drinking gin and tonic and you run out of tonic you can substitute aqua velva

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

Pro tip: take the paper off the cheese before you eat it.

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment

You don’t understand their behavior because you would never do it.

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Kicking my way through a crowd of ugnaughts like jason statham

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

the 10-hour wait to get into coachella has been invited to frye fest

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment

Him: I want a girl with an ass that don't quit. Me: Welp I'm out. My ass is lazy as fuck and quits whatever it starts.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Reverse cowgirl so I can eat my bucket of KFC.

submitted 6 hours ago • 13 comments

*group conversation* I thi...*interupted* Somet...*interupted* That's c...*interupted* If you...*interupted* ₒₖ

submitted 10 hours ago • 5 comments

*random pain in my chest* "Oh fuck, bring it on. YES." *Burps, pain is gone* "Welp, there's always next time"

submitted 4 hours ago • 3 comments

Licking Cheetos dust off the latex gloves.

submitted 8 hours ago • 5 comments

Honestly? Drunk & eating alligator

submitted 8 hours ago • 2 comments

It's not easy being a marshmallow when the world's on fire.

submitted 13 hours ago • 3 comments

Him: Stop doing that. Me: Well you said “excuse me”. So I’m giving you all the excuses I can think of.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I still want to know what Paul Simon and Julio were doing down by the school. Interviewer: I meant do you have any question about the job. (Deleted and fixed it)

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

love, love, love, let’s be love

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Trying to make someone envious doesn’t work if the person doesn’t get envious, but it does make them highly amused

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment