athe52.bsky.social
lgbtqia+ (I'm somewhere on there) gfx designer and OK artist. and a huge fucking nerd as well.
142 posts
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94 following
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wait xband was on the saturn as well? I thought it was just a snes/mega drive add-on
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what are the chances that me finding out about this is from a fucking YTP of all things
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also for some reason there wasn't a front-on photo of a titanium phat DS, so I had to recreate it in Figma
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the recent update hasn't harmed performance for me afaik but I haven't really experimented with the new features yet. so who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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personally I've noticed that the new UI (had to switch BC the old ui's getting removed :( ) kinda runs like shit for me
then again I run integrated graphics as part of a computer from over a decade ago and also has to wait a few minutes for my 18k fonts to load lol
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thanks for being patient ♥
-athe52
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of course, this isn't a 100% fix and some things haven't been fully sorted out yet (e.g. my sexuality. I feel like I'm somewhere on the panromantic asexual spectrum), but even just a few days of not using social media and working on other things has helped a lot.
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I've also come to realise that I care about other people's opinions a bit too much. nothin' wrong with getting feedback but checking discord/bsky obsessively is not how I should do that stuff - same with the mockups pressure as said before
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...asked my parents about my potential neurodiversity (apparently I had some development issues and my parents went to a paediatrician, but apparently I don't have anything noteworthy) and I've started doing some private journaling to privately vent out my feelings, among other things.
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my psyche has definitely improved (even if slightly), I've reevaluated my relationship with social media (it's nice to use but I use it too much - so don't expect me to be too active nowadays), I won't focus on mockups as much (despite not having a schedule, I still felt a "pressure" to deliver)...
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I know that some people will say that I'm just whining or something akin to that. But it feels real to me. Some days it feels like I just lay in bed all day being an unproductive piece of shit.
So, yeah. I'm not gonna be active online for a bit while I soul search. See you then, if ever.
- athe52
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And of course, this is ignoring the outside world too. I could write a whole speech on that, but I'll keep it short. TL:DR it sucks and I can't help but look at it still.
Something similar occurs when I make art - I can't help but compare myself to other artists.
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...as well as me questioning my sexuality (where I am on the LGBT+ spectrum), sex life (not saying any more than that), my brain (since it feels like I'm neurodivergent in some way or another, especially recently), my future, etc.
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It doesn't help that school's been piling shit on top of me which makes school life hard as well (like 4 assessments in the span of a few weeks jesus), it feels like my mental health's been through the gutter for a few years now...
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and you could even get other powers from it. want to know how to fly? generate a potion that allows you to. want to know everything? create some brain-computer interface and download all the info you want
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like whatever I think of, it just appears in my hand without any issue and would conform to my thoughts (e.g. a time machine that ignores the fact that earth moves, something truly infinite etc), physics be damned
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yeah this fucking thing
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or (especially on older forums) there's an image or file that's long gone due to link rot
that fucking "this image is not available" thing is so annoying when looking in 2000s-era forums
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also goes to show that preserving software (including games) is a pain in the arse compared to other mediums