As a frequently sleep deprived human person, I would very much like this one to be the fiction.

For sure! And as a local New Orleanian who is offering friendly suggestions, I should also point out that the river is directly accessible in the spot right in front of Jackson Square. There are even some very treacherous slippery stairs there that a clumsy person could easily fall down into it from

The Mississippi is much closer to the Dome than the lake is 😉

Eh. We had a good run. I, for one, welcome our new ancient worm overlords.