Profile avatar
awesomeaudrey.com
Londoner via Texas. Here for the LOLs. Owned by a dog.
50 posts 100 followers 304 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 46 Comments 1

If only there had been some way to know that these people were only loyal to themselves and would destroy anything and everyone on a whim to serve their own self-interests, if only there had been some warnings, like years of plainly observable words and actions, but alas,

submitted 5 days ago • 11 comments

Due to global warming, Meltdown May is now five days longer.

submitted 5 days ago • 16 comments

must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away

submitted 5 days ago • 644 comments

why not decommission it the usual way: launching it into a million pieces over protected wetlands

submitted 5 days ago • 76 comments

I'm just glad one of these men has the nuclear codes and the other has all our personal data.

submitted 5 days ago • 1699 comments

Incredible things happening in the universe today

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Is this real life?

submitted 5 days ago • 10 comments

Men are too emotional to use social media

submitted 5 days ago • 133 comments

Vin Diesel separates his laundry into two loads: 1. Colourfast 2. Colourfurious

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

“WHO YOU CALLING A BUNCH OF PANSIES?!?”

submitted 7 days ago • 445 comments

adding our safe word to my password manager

submitted 274 days ago • 7 comments

actually fast food refers to the speed at which it passes through you

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

finally found a boat I can afford

submitted 10 days ago • 5 comments

the need for the inclusion of the graphic is a sad reminder of the shockingly low literacy rate among geese

submitted 12 days ago • 174 comments

decades-long manhunt finally ends

submitted 13 days ago • 442 comments

this is like the time i got a new label maker

submitted 12 days ago • 29 comments

Vin Diesel separates his laundry into two loads: 1. Colourfast 2. Colourfurious

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

“The pope will be from Chicago” sounds like an 1880s Republican’s dire prediction for if we don’t stop Irish immigration

submitted 33 days ago • 7 comments

This ends Chicago’s 266 pope losing streak

submitted 33 days ago • 6 comments

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

submitted 33 days ago • 40 comments

Robot lawnmower.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Just what I needed in my life.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Taurus: You'll never outlive your mistakes, so make them count.

submitted 58 days ago • 2 comments

A zombie apocalypse story where everyone still has to keep showing up for work and paying bills the whole time

submitted 61 days ago • 10 comments

Your tariff rate is your star sign divided by the number of boys you've kissed, multiplied by one

submitted 69 days ago • 405 comments

useful article from @mallory.techpolicy.social.ap.brid.gy and @awdsome.bsky.social on the state of play of robots.txt, AI preference signals, and more: www.techpolicy.press/robotstxt-is... - also highlights that whatever happens with (c), there will be a tussle of technical measures & counters

submitted 67 days ago • 1 comment

But it can’t bring back my son

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

oh, has a global superpower been threatening to invade it lately?

submitted 74 days ago • 26 comments

Just got invited to a Google Doc titled plan4war_FINALFINAL2 from someone named Waltz?

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

Circling back on this…

submitted 78 days ago • 2002 comments

submitted 78 days ago • 286 comments

In another blow to legacy media, I'm hearing that the Trump administration plans to remove The Atlantic from its war-plans group chat. The outlet will be replaced in the chat by the Gateway Pundit.

submitted 78 days ago • 33 comments

JUST FYI EVERYONE, IF YOU SEE A POST THAT SAYS IT LINKS TO LUIGI MANGIONE'S SEX TAPE DON'T CLICK ON IT!! THERE'S A VIRUS THAT PUTS EVERYTHING YOU TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS

submitted 98 days ago • 538 comments

Pleasure cruises imply the existence of pain cruises

submitted 103 days ago • 29 comments

TO: <ALL STAFF> Please respond to this email confirming that I am cool and funny. Failure to do so will be taken as confirmation of the same.

submitted 108 days ago • 134 comments

One of the funniest things about Spock is that once every seven years he gets so horny that he might blow up the ship or strangle the captain to death in pure horny fury but he doesn’t really think to let anyone know about it even though it’s been six and a half years since it happened last.

submitted 108 days ago • 72 comments

your eweber has arrived

submitted 113 days ago • 19 comments

Prius at 0:16 doing the ope let me sneak by you real quick

submitted 113 days ago • 1845 comments

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

submitted 117 days ago • 21 comments

looking back, AOL had it right. 30 hours of internet per month was the right amount.

submitted 117 days ago • 208 comments

DISEASES ERADICATED OR DECIMATED BY SCIENCE: 1. Chickenpox 2. Diphtheria 3. Measles 4. Pertussis 5. Pneumococcal Infection 6. Polio 7. Tetanus 8. Typhoid 9. Yellow Fever 10. Smallpox DISEASES ERADICATED OR DECIMATED BY RFK JR. OR PRAYER: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

submitted 117 days ago • 1219 comments

someday we will have the technology to turn the plastic accumulating in each of our brains into a personalized McDonald’s happy meal toy but until then we must continue gathering

submitted 125 days ago • 31 comments

Elon Musk is a terrible president.

submitted 127 days ago • 1672 comments

the two wolves inside of me are both lone wolves which makes this current situation untenable

submitted 137 days ago • 9 comments

I could accept everyone becoming dumber if we were also becoming nicer (golden retriever-fication) instead of getting more evil

submitted 138 days ago • 141 comments

wealth can buy you the presidency and the most global influence ever witnessed in history but it’s clear that wealth, no matter how much you accumulate, cannot ever make you funny

submitted 138 days ago • 921 comments