awp.christies.org.uk
Weird but kinda alright once you get to know me.
@awpchristie on Twitter.
5,330 posts
446 followers
525 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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By Friday, I intend to be 70% semi-set custard (by volume).
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Proper Ministry of Silly Walks stuff.
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It's one of those don't-knock-it-til-you've-tried-it things, you know, like breath play with Jeremy Corbyn.
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Frottage with Farage?
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Just a normal dog. An innocent dog.
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That's because he knows it's wrong, Huw.
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Goscinny and Uderzo got it 🫡
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When they eventually find the bodies, I swear to god, if a single person gives an interview and says "Oh you never know do you, he seemed so nice" I will eat a ridiculously large bow tie.
This screams 'check my patio' to everyone, right?!
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To this day,whenever I'm making a cup of tea my brain recites
"Just dried leaves?"
"Yes"
"In boiling water?"
"Yes!"
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It is my deeply held belief that it is wrong and harmful to assume that people who are good at entertaining children must be deviants.
It is also my belief that Mr Tumble has way more plastic wrap, duct tape, and surgical equipment in his home than normal.
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One from the garden last night - sent with the caption "10pm and two of the chairs are still glowing with the heat"
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Sounds like a lush weekend!
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The only way this will be remedied is by singing it out loud. You know that, right?
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Wise beyond your years mate, that'll be what it is...
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Butthole cake
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I see you those and raise you:
A butthole full of dollars.
Buttholes of the lambs.
Butthole stokers' Dracula.
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Hey leave the Dutch out of this
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Claire, after a busy afternoon reassuring lasses down at her accessory shop:
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He wouldn't. He's too perfect to do that.
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Awkward, getting your own foot like that... 🫢
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One of my favourite little streets, that 🥰
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Red means record-breaking profits.
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Look at this guy. The guide told us he's a green monkey but I put it to him that green barely features and that he's clearly a BRIGHT BLUE BALLS monkey.
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They are, and he is exceptionally good at it even by cat standards.
Just look at his range!
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Aww Raucs time for the radical self-acceptance
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Step-minister, what are you doing?!
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Champagne here... Marking the end of moving month!
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It's quite warm out, not sure you'll need the balaclava love x
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Carting stuff from our shed, greenhouses and patio from one house t'other, in a wheelbarrow, in full sun.
I am the stickiest thing since sticky the stick insect was caught on a sticky bun 🫠
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What a lunch and what a setting 👨🏻🍳👌💋
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That's just gaslighting yourselves.
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Kneecap about to become a proscribed organisation.
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Just waiting for Derek Guy to rock up and tell us how they both look so damn dapper.
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Beacon Hill, north Norfolk.
If you're thinking of an expedition don't forget to acclaimatise - it's a dizzying 105m above mean sea level, baby!
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🎼 I want you to fucking, disappear, be gone like fucking mist, d'yeh hear me? 🎶
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How dare The Gays look so happy and fabulous.
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HEY YOU TAKE THAT BACK SOME OF OUR GENTLE GRADIENTS RISE TO OVER 300 FEET