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barit0wned.bsky.social

She/they bisexual disaster dad || writing queer opera, horror, & romance fiction || eternally horny on main || yelling about opera, cocktails, TTRPGs, and fictional sword gays & murder husbands

209 posts 141 followers 238 following

Posts 29 Comments 19

Correctly Gendered! At the Kilmainham Gaol Museum

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I think the most satisfying thing in the world would be handing Elon the Lament Configuration; he’s either not smart enough to solve it, too chickenshit to try, or he actually succeeds and you get to watch him being torn to giblets by painsexual leatherdemons win/win/win, baby

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Fuck you guys this is hilarious

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Post hole ergo propter hole

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

[Edward Cullen playing the Fortnite Mr. Brightside DLC] This is a skin of The Killers, Bella

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished GMing an adventure module for Mothership (sci-fi horror TTRPG) and I’m so fucking in love with this system

submitted 23 days ago • 2 comments

Tfw you have to write a hymn but you’re so desperately horny you’re about to pass out

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

Oh shit they got @divatron9000.bsky.social at Trader Joe’s now??

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Remembering to take your adderall for the first time in a week kicks ass because it’s the closest you can get to powering up mid-battle like a shonen protagonist

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

Johanne Sacrebleu is a FUCKING MASTERPIECE

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Florencia en el Amazonas be like “she was in the Amazon with Cristobál when he was researching butterflies just before he died”

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

ME: I’m bouncing on it in a way that indicates good breath support VOICE TEACHER: For the last time, it’s called vibrato

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

this is the family motto in The Cask of Amontillado, hey you tried, Elon

submitted 37 days ago • 48 comments

Is flag offends you, I’ll help you pack 😤

submitted 38 days ago • 16 comments

Lmao I forgot that any time you get a mildly successful tweet on the Other Site™ it’s like a bat-signal for transphobic reply guys

submitted 38 days ago • 1 comment

“average empire lasts 250 years” factoid actualy just statistical error. average empire lasts much longer. Empires Glubb, who lives in England & manipulates over 10,000 data sets each day, is an idiot adn should not have been published

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

WOMAN: oh wise Solomon, tell us: who is the mother of this child? BABY: immediately pisses on Solomon's robe SOLOMON: okay. all right. I've got an idea.

submitted 40 days ago • 6 comments

Tell me why Joella walked out in this mess and I was just waiting for her to say “moisturize me”? 💀 #DragRace #DoctorWho #rupaulsdragrace17

submitted 40 days ago • 2 comments

Update: Justice has been served

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

BITCH I’M A TUMBLEWEED

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

I don't think I need to clarify my stance on the topic but these soccer folks summed it up

submitted 43 days ago • 359 comments

ACT UP, 1990

submitted 44 days ago • 53 comments

the “you can’t just call people you disagree with nazis” crowd sure is doing an awful lot of nazi shit!

submitted 44 days ago • 3 comments

we’re about to spend a day or two arguing about whether the thing he did that perfectly mimicked a Nazi salute was in fact a Nazi salute, but I can’t get past what a complete fucking dork freak he looks like when doing it

submitted 44 days ago • 108 comments

HADES: All right, everyone. How are you going to stop my son from escaping the Underworld? BURN-FLINGERS: Firebombs. BRIGHTSWORDS: Speed and skill from lifetimes of combat. SOUL CATCHERS: Butterflies made of hatred and murder. SATYR CULTISTS:

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Correctly Gendered! At the Kilmainham Gaol Museum

I think the most satisfying thing in the world would be handing Elon the Lament Configuration; he’s either not smart enough to solve it, too chickenshit to try, or he actually succeeds and you get to watch him being torn to giblets by painsexual leatherdemons win/win/win, baby

Fuck you guys this is hilarious

Post hole ergo propter hole

[Edward Cullen playing the Fortnite Mr. Brightside DLC] This is a skin of The Killers, Bella

Just finished GMing an adventure module for Mothership (sci-fi horror TTRPG) and I’m so fucking in love with this system

Tfw you have to write a hymn but you’re so desperately horny you’re about to pass out

Oh shit they got @divatron9000.bsky.social at Trader Joe’s now??

Remembering to take your adderall for the first time in a week kicks ass because it’s the closest you can get to powering up mid-battle like a shonen protagonist

Johanne Sacrebleu is a FUCKING MASTERPIECE

Florencia en el Amazonas be like “she was in the Amazon with Cristobál when he was researching butterflies just before he died”

ME: I’m bouncing on it in a way that indicates good breath support VOICE TEACHER: For the last time, it’s called vibrato

this is the family motto in The Cask of Amontillado, hey you tried, Elon

Is flag offends you, I’ll help you pack 😤

Lmao I forgot that any time you get a mildly successful tweet on the Other Site™ it’s like a bat-signal for transphobic reply guys

“average empire lasts 250 years” factoid actualy just statistical error. average empire lasts much longer. Empires Glubb, who lives in England & manipulates over 10,000 data sets each day, is an idiot adn should not have been published

WOMAN: oh wise Solomon, tell us: who is the mother of this child? BABY: immediately pisses on Solomon's robe SOLOMON: okay. all right. I've got an idea.

Tell me why Joella walked out in this mess and I was just waiting for her to say “moisturize me”? 💀 #DragRace #DoctorWho #rupaulsdragrace17

Update: Justice has been served

BITCH I’M A TUMBLEWEED

I don't think I need to clarify my stance on the topic but these soccer folks summed it up

ACT UP, 1990

the “you can’t just call people you disagree with nazis” crowd sure is doing an awful lot of nazi shit!

we’re about to spend a day or two arguing about whether the thing he did that perfectly mimicked a Nazi salute was in fact a Nazi salute, but I can’t get past what a complete fucking dork freak he looks like when doing it

HADES: All right, everyone. How are you going to stop my son from escaping the Underworld? BURN-FLINGERS: Firebombs. BRIGHTSWORDS: Speed and skill from lifetimes of combat. SOUL CATCHERS: Butterflies made of hatred and murder. SATYR CULTISTS:

Here's why it would be a mistake to do anything that resists fascists, By Some Fascist

Get thee to a nunnery ✝️

Jeremy Renner has the chance to do the funniest thing right now

JUSTICE FOR LUCKY STARZZZ