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bazecraze.bsky.social
Just some guy who definitely doesn’t write for a late night show.
251 posts 4,547 followers 331 following
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Posts 41 Comments 9

Brody’s speech had the same runtime as his movie.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I wrote this bit that is entirely unrelated to current things

submitted 21 days ago • 158 comments

Harrison Butker has time to help with the dishes.

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

Kendrick ruined Drake’s life with a pun.

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

Can’t believe we’re dealing with nazis in the year 2025. This is like getting a zit when you’re 60.

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

A.I. groundhog predicts six more weeks of Sunday.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Watching RFK hearing: “That’s the color I want for the deck.”

submitted 33 days ago • 2 comments

Has he done an executive order to make “a lot” one word?

submitted 42 days ago • 3 comments

He’s just pointing at Mars, you guys.

submitted 42 days ago • 2 comments

My most old man trait is the rage I feel when people try to combine two sports.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

I want to be the person who bought these bananas, but I fear I am the person throwing these bananas away.

submitted 53 days ago • 2 comments

Happy Jan. 6 to everyone who has to sound this out.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Eating peanut M&Ms in a hotel bed is the send-off 2024 deserves.

submitted 62 days ago • 3 comments

Don’t tell me what you said to yourself. That’s not my business.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Nothing my mom loves more than telling the waiter what went wrong last time she was here.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

If they can make tissues with lotion in them, why not pants? This is a winning platform.

submitted 71 days ago • 3 comments

Harry: what if we sold pears David: sounds good Harry: but once a year David: huh Harry: by mail David: Harry, I… Harry: in the dead of winter

submitted 75 days ago • 13 comments

What I thought would kill me, by age: 0-20: Russian nuke 20-30: AIDS 30-50: Terrorists 50-present: the people who copied off me in high school.

submitted 80 days ago • 97 comments

You like running errands in the freezing dark? May I recommend Christmas?

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I’m not a big enough deal to have haters. I have don’t-carers-about.

submitted 83 days ago • 3 comments

No wonder he was acting weird at McDonald’s. He’s clearly never been.

submitted 84 days ago • 2 comments

Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?

submitted 89 days ago • 476 comments

Hegseth sounds like a Harry Potter character that wasn’t in the books and they added in the movies.

submitted 89 days ago • 1 comment

Million dollar idea: collect interest on 25 million dollars.

submitted 90 days ago • 2 comments

I get smaller and smaller and my voice gets higher and higher with every starter pack I’m not in.

submitted 91 days ago • 5 comments

I expect the same uproar when Trump pardons Charlie Manson’s corpse and makes him an official Beach Boy.

submitted 91 days ago • 1 comment

Con Air ass cabinet

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

Eating with your family is a holiday? How shitty is your job?

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment

Somebody get him those pictures of Spider-Man!

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe the worst part is 4 more years of dumb liberal nicknames for Trump. “Well, ol’ Kumquat Qaddafi did it again…”

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

Wait a minute, the replacement for Gaetz is awful too?? What are the odds, 1 in 1?

submitted 102 days ago • 3 comments

Boss is here. Act like I’m busy.

submitted 105 days ago • 2 comments

Trump is good for comedy like being chased by tigers is good exercise.

submitted 109 days ago • 7 comments

Susan Collins is shocked more than an amateur electrician.

submitted 110 days ago • 2 comments

John Krasinski is the sexiest man alive? How many in area??

submitted 111 days ago • 1 comment

Best case, this all ends in 2 years with me hugging a Canadian tank commander on Flatbush.

submitted 112 days ago • 5 comments

Now is the time we find out what we’re made of! What’s that, flesh and bone? Oh that won’t do.

submitted 113 days ago • 2 comments

tip for newbies: subscribe to this MAGA block list to preemptively block MAGAts on here :) (sorry I forgot to include the link before)

submitted 114 days ago • 442 comments

Huge spike in google searches for “psychotic president bad?”

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

They tried to bury me. They did not know I was dirt.

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

Vacillating wildly between “getting more involved in local politics” and “sharpen a stick and hide in a bush”.

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments