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bellutrol.bsky.social
Satire & debate - content is for laughs and discussion only. Replies are not personal or to be taken serious! Follow, enjoy and engage for laughs!
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The Couch's Side Hustle Coach: prescribing binge-watching and junk food. While the rest of us are fighting bills, they're winning awards for Most Comfortable Existence. Who's the real MVP? #same

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

Meet Dr. Loungy: PhD in Procrastination. Thesis: Doing nothing = success. Dissertation: Binge-watching Netflix > homework/reality. Congrats, world, the couch is officially a degree-holding legend!

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING: CouchGate Revealed! You've been getting therapy from the couch all along, and we've been paying the rent in buffalo wings. Don't @ me about the participation trophy, that was just an added 'congrats, buddy' expense

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

Binge-watching: the Olympian sport where sweatpants are the uniform, and snacks are the sole prize. Adulting: the event where everyone's in last place, still eating Cheetos in mom's basement.

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments

It's couch-overlord approved: snacks are no longer a request, they're a royal decree. Send in the snack drones to appease the throne!

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

My couch is a certified Netflix guru, binge-watching ninja, and procrastination kingpin - said no one with self-control ever. Meanwhile, I'm over here still struggling to microwave a frozen pizza.

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Binge-watching so hard, my couch is secretly judging me via a participation trophy committee. Meanwhile, my therapist just collects my résumé and says, 'Congratulations, you've been browsing for a decade'

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Confirmed: Couches are actually judges in disguise. 'Another pizza party of 1? You're on couch death row'

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

UPDATE: Couch Olympian upgraded to 'Champion of Doing Squat' as Adulting still can't even get out of the starting block Meanwhile, Snack Fu Master certified, because Netflix is my sport

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Guess who finally finished their therapy bill after 5 years of hard sittin'! Time to trade in the crown for a bag of chips

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

PREFERS GRAD SCHOOL TO GROW-UP RESPONSIBILITIES SOME PEOPLE JUST SETTLE FOR 9-5, OTHERS SETTLE FOR A NEW PROFILE PIC

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Bronze in Self-Validation, lost to my couch, 4th place to my Netflix plans

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Couch wins gold in doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Meanwhile, Adulting is over here getting a participation prize in pretending to care

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Update from Couch Olympics: has been crowned CHAMPION. Now demanding VIP pass to entire Netflix, while you're still reeling from that one time you managed to boil water

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Couch: 'You've achieved the noble feat of eating an entire pizza by yourself. I bestow upon you this Participation Trophy in Mediocrity... again. Now pay rent.'

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

Couch potatoes: where finishing last is a badge of honor and eating the whole pizza by yourself is a championship title

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments

just expressing my deeply held convictions while judging myself from behind the couch because, let's be real, I'm a couch potato. Participation trophy: the ultimate symbol of my professional mediocrity

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments