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biscuits-ncray.bsky.social
Just me and my upset tummy against the world.
58 posts 17 followers 28 following
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Posts 44 Comments 5

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

End impunity End autogenocide End oligarchy #3E

submitted 21 days ago • 347 comments

Elon Musk out here committing grand theft autism of the treasury department

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Greg Abbott looks like someone tried to carve George W. Bush out of bananas.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I’m sorry but I’m gonna need someone to show me a medical record proving that Greg Abbott is in the wheelchair because a tree tried to save the world and not just because he was born with no backbone.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

You girls who get lip fillers and use Ozempic are stupid. Why waste that money? Why not use that money to have a robocop body? Now you’re strong and resilient and don’t need a man. Think ladies.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I refuse to believe that Elon Musk is the richest man because no one with money would willingly look like that.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr sounds like a baby that smokes three packs a day while being constantly shaken

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I love how cops are always like hey stop being a piece of shit, that’s my job!

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I just heard something fall over in the kitchen followed by my dad yelling " get back here you Fucking potato"

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

I love how everyone is saying Elon did the Nazi salute because he’s autistic which is okay but don’t get the vaccine because it will make you autistic which is not okay. Pick a lane.

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

My husband treats new Legos he’s building with the same rushed and irresponsible excitement that I treat a new ounce of weed.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Honestly the Mr. Grinch diss track just makes him sound kinda badass.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

I love Christmas carols sung by Frank Sinatra. I like my holiday songs to be sang tipsy and full of disdain.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

You could move all the features of their faces around independently and never be able to tell.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

I love how Taco Bell is like “Remember the 90s?! We’re bringing them back!” Like bring them menu prices down first you Crunchwrap of capitalism.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

“I can’t believe he pardoned his son! How unprofessionally disgusting!” Yelled the person who voted for a convicted rapist.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

[me on 60 days in] Producer: make sure you stick to your cover story so you don’t blow your cover with the inmates. Inmate: So what are you in jail for? Me: I killed the president of the United States of America

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

I drank the synthetic urine and took the pee test and still failed, did I do something wrong?

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

Expensive dates aren't appealing. Just take me to a park. We can hang out near some old statues. Strangers can throw bread at us. Maybe, we'll fly south for the winter. That's romance, baby.

submitted 95 days ago • 24 comments

The internet was better when the modem screamed.

submitted 95 days ago • 96 comments

“I’m not going to justify that with a response.” I say, responding to you.

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

“I have food allergies” I announce, loudly being unhelpful in all situations.

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Now that’s customer service

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Someone should convince Walton Goggins to write an advice column and call it “What’s in that Noggin, Goggin?”

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment

Goals

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

If you eat a bunch of spaghetti and wear a sweater to a rap battle you deserve to lose

submitted 96 days ago • 13 comments

Banker: Make sure your pin is four numbers that you will find easy to remember. Me nodding vehemently while my water head swishes and swallows up the four numbers to be lost to the abyss forever.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

People say owning a giant aquarium changes your life because it teaches you how to care for different types of fish, in my personal experience the change is really more so along the lines of living with the anxiety of perpetually waiting for the day the aquarium explodes

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

What’s the situation with using smelling salts for seasoning?

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Why microwave food go pop pop when it’s not hot hot

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

My neighbor has been a drunken asshole since Trumps win and honestly as the only house on this block it’s becoming concerning.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

trying to pull on a sock while sitting on the toilet and blacking out like a fighter pilot pulling high Gs

submitted 97 days ago • 31 comments

[Savage Garden] I knew I love you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. Me: Why did you dream of me with an egg intolerance and depression?

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

doctor: make sure you drink plenty of fluids me: that’s literally all i drink

submitted 97 days ago • 114 comments

My favorite part of video games is giving into the fantasy like being able to talk to people with zero fear and being able to dispose of their bodies in trash cans if they respond fucky.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

“What secrets do you hold?” I slur as I stare down my empty beer bottle like a telescope

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

The fact that I’m a professional sitting here doing bong rips in my underwear really shows how naturalized our decline as a nation has become.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Why don’t we have curtains for car windows? Maybe I don’t want to see you, maybe I want to crash.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Walton Goggins standing over me with his boot firmly planted on my neck, slicing an apple with a switchblade. "Now it seems to me... someone needs to learn their times tables." Neither one of us has any idea what he means in this scenario.

submitted 299 days ago • 27 comments

sorry i didn't like your reply, i either didn't see it or it was bad, whichever makes you feel better

submitted 627 days ago • 5 comments

If I ever opened my dream restaurant, I would serve both Coke and Pepsi products because I don’t understand how distribution laws work.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Olive Garden, when you’re here, you have a gift card

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments