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blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social
Showing blithe disregard for those who so blithely disregard.
280 posts 1,292 followers 1,046 following
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Posts 48 Comments 2

I get to use the services of a notary today.

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

We shall all be congealed

submitted 19 hours ago • 8 comments

I'm suing our dog walker which is very stressful on me since she's so sweet and struggles with just having the one leg.

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

Sometimes, I catch her studying me. After thirty years together, she still isn't sure which one is my glass eye.

submitted 18 hours ago • 2 comments

Having carnal thoughts about Farrah Fawcett again. Best put on a hair shirt and ride my penny-farthing past the vicar’s house

submitted 2 days ago • 10 comments

Noticed that the fine lines around my eyes and mouth are becoming ever deepening fissures. I regret not springing for the undercoating.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Might quit my job and become a full time problem

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

Why blame yourself when you can blame the bossa nova?

submitted 16 days ago • 6 comments

★★★★★ review: “The sadness just feels different from other casinos.”

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

Never buy wind chimes or hiking speakers which won't fit up your ass.

submitted 179 days ago • 2 comments

If the going rate for a white guy’s pardon is $1 million, how much does a black guy have to pay?

submitted 17 days ago • 284 comments

Let's go back to 140 characters. It leaves no room for more than the title of most fuck-stupid theories.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Today was really crummy And I would like a hug from mummy

submitted 17 days ago • 13 comments

Let the good end times roll.

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

You guys 🥺🥺

submitted 17 days ago • 662 comments

you can’t scare me you are not a fart during a diaper change

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

I'm a vegetarian. But not because I love animals, I just really hate plants.

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

Ten minutes ago, I had no idea there’s one master switch at the zoo that opens all the enclosures at once, but the police refuse to believe I bumped it by accident and are now suggesting I could catch a manslaughter charge for what that crazy hippo just did to the old lady who ran the churro cart.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers my pharmily.

submitted 17 days ago • 10 comments

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Closer. Introduce your enemies to your family. Invite them to game night. How are things progressing? Do I hear wedding bells?

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

AI loves the em dash almost as much as my mother loved smoking while pregnant.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

My house! Is a very very very my house With my things in my yard My clothes and my guitar Life used to make me nervous cos of me Yes me.. I'll light my fire While I find my corkscrew and my wine That I bought For me-ee-ee... RS

submitted 17 days ago • 6 comments

Nothing like a shower beer at the end of a long day. I got a ska band coming in tomorrow night – no cover

submitted 17 days ago • 6 comments

when you really need your toddler to stop asking questions for just two goddamn minutes

submitted 17 days ago • 20 comments

embarrassing problem; i can't cum unless I am either jacking off or having intercourse,

submitted 17 days ago • 114 comments

Don’t hurl in my bowl and call it muesli. ~ Swiss idiom

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

An alternate dimension where everyone has heat-ray vision and lives with the trauma of having blasted away their own eyelids.

submitted 18 days ago • 5 comments

No time to explain. Get in the Volkscopter

submitted 17 days ago • 21 comments

One thing I learned at my senior prom is that you can’t make a mop look like a human girl no matter how much you spend on the dress.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Now it’s less about the sex and more about lymphatic drainage.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Mayo from a squeeze bottle isn't as good as the one from the jar. It doesn't have the same spirit and character. And it doesn't feel the same when you don't have to work for it.

submitted 18 days ago • 12 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 100 comments

Accurate

submitted 17 days ago • 158 comments

So Bluesky died? And here I thought my stuff was being ignored because of common sense.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I bet if we really tried we could teach pandas to play beer pong.

submitted 17 days ago • 12 comments

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "I'm going out for cigarettes."

submitted 17 days ago • 3 comments

Stop cleaning your grill so good. That’s where the magic is

submitted 17 days ago • 13 comments

I'm the office weirdo but you're new so I'll give you a few extra only one who says good mornings to figure that out

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

At some point I am going to need a week off to shave.

submitted 17 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 743 comments

You’re a “haha” girl and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

submitted 18 days ago • 3 comments

I have a patch of necrotic flesh at one corner of my mouth that I just can't seem to get rid of and all of my potential suitors are clamoring over each other until their knees and fingertips bleed right down to the bone.

submitted 18 days ago • 4 comments

I'm drinking beer out of a red solo cup, as our founders intended.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I'm sure this sub-par, tepid hot chocolate will increase my mood immensely.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

I used to love John Gardner and John Barth but at turning 16 I chose to only read advertising copy.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I’m sure Andor IS a fine program. Breathe.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

It's apparently World Dracula Day, today, and sweet serendipity also means it's Peter Cushing's birthday, with Christopher Lee's birthday falling tomorrow.

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments