(swaying a pendulum) Ooohhhh you want to buff the Weeping Scope so bad. You want to make him hit at least as hard as the Centaur. You want to give him in death that which he did not have in life. To have players scramble to save him — if not out of love, then out of fear

Oh but the soul calendar approximation is not enough. I must have the exact day and bake him a pretty cake. (Please?)

Toss his birthday in too while we're at it.