bryan472.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

using my Amulet of Jennifers to summon 1d4 friendly Jennifers to assist our party in combat

submitted 558 days ago • 8 comments

I crunched the numbers to find out which NFL teams are Serious (professionally run organizations aimed at sustained success), which are Unserious, and which are the Toilet Buffoons of Failson City.

submitted 39 days ago • 43 comments

puts on bathing suit and slowly lowers myself into a panicked kool aid man

submitted 52 days ago • 22 comments

I have Tokyo drifted into the parking spot which you were probably going to park in Forgive me it was open and you were so slow

submitted 82 days ago • 2 comments

opening a drug club called "chiefs last drive" because nobody gets busted even though everyone's holding

submitted 83 days ago • 7 comments

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain

submitted 108 days ago • 212 comments

amazon's got all your favorite brands. Sunzel. QUEENIEKE. Darkterror

submitted 135 days ago • 43 comments

Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news

submitted 659 days ago • 13 comments

Looks like all that Despair is causing your These Emotions Are Really Strong (T.E.A.R.S.) Gauge to fill! When it hits maximum, you’ll need to Cry by pressing L1. Crying takes time, but you can Cry faster by pressing L1+R1 to Sob. Make sure to only Sob at Home or others may apply Bummer status to you

submitted 192 days ago • 9 comments

One must imagine Sisyphus giving the boulder little smooches. Step, smooch, step, smooch

submitted 319 days ago • 11 comments

Gimme Magritte, boys, and free my soul / Ceci n’est pas une rock ‘n’ roll / Green apple face

submitted 388 days ago • 70 comments

if you watch Rocky backwards it's an unboxing video

submitted 362 days ago • 44 comments

hey check it out shoots red sparks out of my fingers sick right? I made a deal with KelY'tar, the Unkindler. shoots sparks every time I do this, the lifespan of the sun halves. shoots sparks cool right

submitted 382 days ago • 9 comments

it’s time to burn the incense, it’s time to slay the sheep, it’s time to wake the muppets, from a thousand years of sleep. it’s time to raze existence, it’s time to banish light, it’s time to call the void in, on the muppet show tonight.

submitted 386 days ago • 36 comments

REVEREND MOTHER: remove your hand from the box and you will die!! I hold the gom jabbar, the quick-ha- what are you doing ME: craning my neck away from the gom jabbar what REVEREND MOTHER: stop doing that with your neck. hold still ME: loudly scooching my chair away im not doing anything

submitted 424 days ago • 1 comment

FORBIDDEN CHESS PIECES: The Prophet, who is aware of the hands which move the pieces. The Crows, placed on the board after the final turn.

submitted 664 days ago • 4 comments

tears in my eyes, one of the saddest things i've ever seen posted on twitter. You can't post a meme of your own face, man

submitted 451 days ago • 129 comments

(to gas station attendant) hey man how’s it going. How do I set the pump to sips again? If I wanna drink some little sips? Sips don’t cost

submitted 625 days ago • 12 comments

here’s another picture of my dog chuck

submitted 450 days ago • 39 comments

when you die the soul of each person you killed gets to climb into a giant mech and jump-kick you in the dick and balls with it. for Henry Kissinger this will take 50,000 years

submitted 458 days ago • 0 comments

minimalism is a scam invented by big small to sell more less

submitted 477 days ago • 44 comments

im the guy who works for mark cuban whose job is to keep kyrie irving from finding out about the gaza war because the minute he finds out, he's getting suspended for life

submitted 492 days ago • 5 comments

GALADRIEL: (glowing green) In place of a hard roll, I would have whole wheat—beautiful and terrible to behold! DELI GUY: #3 on wheat. G: (coyly) You offer it to me freely. DG: No, Galadriel. You have to pay. Every day with this

submitted 504 days ago • 24 comments

nessie sucks himself off, and it’s absolutely constant. that’s why we’ve only seen his head three times.

submitted 516 days ago • 6 comments

before picking out a movie to watch, i like to watch the trailer first. then i watch the first 10 minutes. then i start it over and watch the first 20 minutes. and i do that over and over until i've seen all but the last five minutes. then i look up the director's number and call them on the phone

submitted 515 days ago • 16 comments

(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao

submitted 573 days ago • 34 comments