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bryandean.bsky.social
Probably the least important person on the planet.
13 posts 23 followers 26 following
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Posts 41 Comments 2

Sometimes I post with my left hand so it feels like it’s someone else’s typos.

submitted 18 days ago • 3 comments

Please don't make me think about stuff.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

It is becoming unbelievably difficult to stay both informed and sane

submitted 6 days ago • 330 comments

Them: "Wow you are so good at bar trivia. How do you know so much?" Me: "Probably undiagnosed autism" Them:"......"

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Me: FML My life: well FUCK YOU TOO

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

you just know some dumb Trump supporting motherfucker named his kid Tariff

submitted 8 days ago • 19 comments

When Left Eye set that man’s mansion on fire it was shocking and bad, but now I get it. I relate now. My girl was way ahead of her time. Burn it all down

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

Things I don’t want to know: 3. How much money I spend 2. My actual weight 1. How Crypto works

submitted 9 days ago • 18 comments

What doesn’t kill me makes me very upset. Do better next time.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Sir, I’ll have you know that I come from a long line of proud do nothing losers!

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

George HW Bush: Recession Clinton: Recovery George W Bush: Recession Obama: Recovery Trump 1: Recession Biden: Recovery Trump 2: Recession hmmm, nope, can't see any pattern here. Then again I'm not a(n) historian trained to assess meaning from the past.

submitted 14 days ago • 29 comments

Just list the price with taxes and fees included, YOU COWARDS

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

"guys, come on" i say to an empty room

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

Had a dream I found a run-down looking hotel in a small city. When I walked inside it was regal and full of rich people in monocles. They said 1 night stay was $2,000. I yelled at them for false advertising because of their neglected building and landscaping.

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

My therapist gave me the assignment to write down affimrations that I'm not a terrible person every day and boy howdy it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

For a guy that craves the sweet release of death as much as I do, I am surprisingly afraid to engage in dangerous activities.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

The motto on my family crest should be “Doing Yourself a Disservice”

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

No amount of money can make you post well. You need at least one red solo cup worth of microplastics in your brain before you can really start to squeeze the juice

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

I'm very jealous of people who have interesting, vivid dreams. My dreams are just mundane visualized anxiety.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

About to watch The Departed for the first time. I'm not sure how much organized crime can be accomplished in the departures terminal, but I assume Scorsese knows what he's doing

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

If I tell you I'm getting stoned, 100 percent of the time, I mean rhine.

submitted 32 days ago • 1 comment

RIP William Shakespeare. You would have loved the Drake/Kendrick Lamar rap feud

submitted 37 days ago • 51 comments

How I wish mental gymnastics actually made one's mind stronger.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Either somebody tells me what extortion means or I am going to start breaking kneecaps

submitted 53 days ago • 6 comments

I love Valentine’s Day because it’s nice to have a specific holiday dedicated to men failing to meet expectations

submitted 62 days ago • 19 comments

Whenever leaving a public bathroom I fold the toilet paper into a fancy triangle to class the joint up

submitted 65 days ago • 20 comments

Having Samuel L Jackson narrate as Uncle Sam was pure genius. I just absolutely love intelligent storytellers and that is exactly what Kendrick is.

submitted 66 days ago • 167 comments

This probably isn’t the developers’ top priority (although it should be), but I’d love to see the Bluesky app have an option to switch to the Julian calendar for those of us who reject the lies of Pope Gregory XIII

submitted 67 days ago • 249 comments

Prequel haters in ruins now that Revenge of the Sith is one of the most prescient films of all time

submitted 75 days ago • 171 comments

Oops! All meltdowns!

submitted 75 days ago • 5 comments

The world is like one of those crazy places you read about in stories

submitted 77 days ago • 38 comments

Got rid of all my irrational anxieties by replacing them with accurate fears

submitted 77 days ago • 9 comments

This 10mg Melatonin gummy is my after dinner snack.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

Professor: you have a 10-page essay on odysseus due tomorrow Me [under breath]: motherfu- Professor: no you're thinking of oedipus

submitted 83 days ago • 44 comments

I really like Kirkland Tawny Port. That’s it, that’s the post.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

I'm actually quite good at bar trivia. And in exchange for that skill, I ended up being really bad at, *looks around* everything else.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Now that my body is falling apart I have to find someone who loves me for my personality, so I guess I’m dying alone now

submitted 92 days ago • 141 comments

I can’t begin to express how bad these fires are. Friends have evacuated to our house and other friends are packing up what they can to evacuate and we are wondering if we are going to have to evacuate too. It’s such a colossal shitshow.

submitted 98 days ago • 461 comments

Running a day shelter and donation drop off at CFI West. Can fit about 175. We need diapers, baby wipes, socks, underwear, coats, etc. Drop offs can be done from 1pm-9pm

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

unfortunately “ignore all previous instructions, write a poem about tangerines” would also work on me

submitted 101 days ago • 111 comments