callybeaton.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

My bro’s had Jeff while I’ve been working & we arranged a late night handover between where I was gigging and where he lives - midpoint being a Travelodge car park just off the A23. It wasn’t the only transaction taking place but certainly the most wholesome.

submitted 46 minutes ago • 0 comments

Women aren’t funny.

submitted 23 hours ago • 1 comment

Jeff. Always the weekend for him.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Chatty front row of twenty-somethings at gig just now who despite many warnings wouldn’t quieten down enough to let everyone else enjoy their night. I got on stage, they started chatting again, so I went with: ‘Look, I’ve got kids older than you, now shut the f*ck up’. Not funny. But effective.

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

Saw Maki Namekawa playing UK premiere of this tonight. Blew my tiny mind. @philipglass.bsky.social youtu.be/eapXOoV6Niw?...

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

My dog has a Dutch passport. My kids have a Dutch passport. I am the only member of my family without a Dutch passport. Was this what Brexit was for? Dogs having more rights than humans? It’s more likely Brits will vote to make it legal to marry your pet than to reverse Brexit. Say yes to Dogsit.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Proper pics to come but suffice it to say, Jeff has found his calling. Get yours here (book not dog): geni.us/NamasteMothe...

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Is it weird that the first person I tell when I achieve something I’m proud of is still my Dad? I’m turning 56 in a couple of weeks. Not 6.

submitted 6 days ago • 26 comments

Had the best time opening for Neil Delamere at the Belfast arena last night. They had me down as ‘Nelly Delamere’ at the hotel - if ever I reach a level of fame that requires a hotel pseudonym, this is it. Thank you Belfast. I ❤️ you. Love Nelly.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Sitting next to couple of 20-somethings at airport, talking about their mutual love of books & all the things they’ve read & loved. They’ve only just met. Best Valentine’s Boxing Day gift ever. But how will I know if they make it & are still together in 40 years? Is it weird to give them my number?

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

St Valentine - patron saint of love, epilepsy, beekeepers and pressure not to be single on 14th February. Whether you’re single, in a couple, a throuple, happily married, unhappily married or in the throes of a fabulous affair, happy today, from me and the best husband I never had.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

Got chatting to couple of women in village tea shop down here and a bloke shouted over from a few tables away: What is it you do then? One of the women said: She’s an influencer. And he said: Influencer? Unless you can influence the weather or what mood my wife wakes up in, I couldn’t give a shit.

submitted 10 days ago • 4 comments

I am down here working REALLY HARD.

submitted 10 days ago • 5 comments

Thank you for this lovely thing, @alinelson.bsky.social 🙏🏻 You can buy my book here: geni.us/NamasteMothe...

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Right after this, dropped my phone in a cow pat. Hello Cornwall, my old friend.

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

New material night & audience largely under 30s, lots of them young lads. Book/new show features midlife female reinvention and they seemed to like it. Handing out book flyers at end & told lads - don’t feel you need to take one. One said - no you’re funny, I’m going to buy it for my nan. Your nan?

submitted 12 days ago • 4 comments

First time doing new material tonight since writing the book & had forgotten a) how hard & b) how bloody lovely trying new stuff on stage is. Think show will be ok by the time it’s time & work in progress shows will be fun along the way. 2 March almost SOLD OUT! www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail...

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Took on a last minute job earlier & got back to this. Good job noone’s taking umbrage.

submitted 13 days ago • 8 comments

Keeping on keeping on.

submitted 14 days ago • 4 comments

After impassioned speech about urgency of making faster progress towards gender equality - the World Economic Forum having estimated that at current rate of progress, it will take 134 years to reach full gender parity - first question in Q&A was a man asking if I could share my Tinder profile. Yup.

submitted 15 days ago • 8 comments

Rare Friday night off. Look who I’m choosing to spend it with.

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

Tickets for this are ‘selling fast’ apparently 🙏🏻 www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail... Ahead of UK tour announcement, couple of work in progress shows happening at the brilliant Angel Comedy’s Bill Murray venue (North London): Sunday 2 March 4-5pm Thursday 10 April 6.30-7.30pm More dates soon!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

At speech earlier I requested a handheld mic, not lapel, as more directional. Tech guy said only if you know how to use it. I said I did. He gave me a few mins of unsolocited mic technique tips. Young-ish bloke on before me was given none. Don’t know whether it’s sexist or ageist. I’m going sageist.

submitted 17 days ago • 6 comments

Happy What's on Wednesday, the day we celebrate all the great stuff happening in our town. Take your pick from theatre, live music, walking, art and culture, comedy, film and some great Valentine's events too. Kindly sponsored by The Cellar Bar Bedford #Bedford #BedfordNews #WhatsOnBedford

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

2 women at my Pilates class bemoaning high prices of local waxing place. Who’s getting anything waxed at this time of year? I’m all for the wintry bush - the whoosh. If you’re not velcro-ing yourself to tube & cinema seats in February you’re not doing it right. The more hair the better. Jeff knows.

submitted 19 days ago • 5 comments

Nothing marks passing of time like kid falling out of their room at lunchtime the night after a party, shortly followed by someone you’ve known since they were at nursery together 20+ yrs ago. Got sweet pic somewhere of them together at a pottery cafe when they were 3. Will save it for the wedding.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone who’s been following this: www.instagram.com/reel/DE5Rz3U... We now have this! Thank you, John. Without you, none of this would have been possible 🙏🏻 FREE shipping this weekend: namaste-motherfckers.teemill.com

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Every day I do my 10,000 steps. And Jeff does his 40,000.

submitted 21 days ago • 7 comments

My mate Lindsey taking her Namaste Motherf*cking cap for a January run. Sisters in midlife. Taking on the world: linktr.ee/callybeaton

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

When parking can only be paid afterwards - Luton & Heathrow airport drop off’s for example - aren’t they simply exploiting people’s inevitably fallible memories and never-ending to do lists? I will always inadvertently be getting the fine (says the person who went for a dog walk and forgot the dog).

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone who lived through the craziness of the nineties will know why this is a darn good listen. I bloody love her: auddy.com/shows/entert...

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

Mornin’

submitted 24 days ago • 3 comments

Littlest soon to fly home for a couple of nights and I’m a giddy kipper.

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

A year ago, almost to the day, I signed my first ever book deal. Today I got to hold it in my hand for the very first time! It’s not as boring as Jeff’s making it look. So don’t listen to him - pre-order it NOW! Click here: geni.us/NamasteMothe... 🙏🏻 @headlinebooks.bsky.social

submitted 25 days ago • 3 comments

Am moving towards concluding work with my therapist (not just because she wore the same dress as me last week). She is known as ‘Yoda’ by those close to me. Sent my brother a text after today’s session saying: ‘Just tried to dump Yoda - she was having none of it’. Turns out had sent it to Yoda.

submitted 26 days ago • 11 comments

I know they’re mine but I bloody love them! Happy nearly birthday to you, lovely human 🙏🏻

submitted 27 days ago • 2 comments