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captaincarten.bsky.social
What are we, some kind of Andrew’s bio? he/him/his
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What’d she do? Return a Tesla?

The attack on DEI shows why liberals should stop arguing about "strategic" use of language forever. DEI stands for three uncontroversial virtues that most every American accepts, and the right still turned it into a vile slur. It doesn't matter what you say - they will poison it because YOU said it.

always enjoy when comedians who have not once made indication of being “anti-woke” get accused of “going woke”. rightwingers are fighting psychological battles in their own minds

Department Of Education Sternly Announces It Is Counting To 3

This is the first day of the rest of my life

Jasmine Crockett speaks for all of us. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

1997

What I want to figure out is how to get Cartoon Network to Teen Titans Go to the polls!

Whoever invented wrapping paper deserves the death penalty

100% and I need everyone to understand right now that there is only one solution: people need to start getting their asses kicked in public again

God I miss precedented times

the fact that this is just a straightforward retelling of yesterday's events without hyperbole

Sick, donate all your money then

Rewatching season 11 of Doctor Who and my only real complaint of the season overall is that I wish there were cold opens. Give me a short intro ending in a cliffhanger before the theme and I’ll be happy.

I understand why these stories exist but it’s important to be clear that he’s not “saving” 16 billion, he’s choosing, personally, without oversight, to wipe out 16 billion dollars of government services to veterans and the disabled and food safety etc etc

Im hindsight, its kinda funny the Wolf Man and Dog Man were in theaters at the same time

Trump making an excellent argument for his own assassination. Good one, dummy.

Pretty telling that the comparison here is “someone scolding you via a video you saw on Facebook that you found annoying” and “complete disregard for legal protections and long standing peaceful cooperation between nations”. It’s actually pretty accurate to how conservatives view the world

elon musk is literally this dril tweet

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

Harrison Ford says Troy Baker’s performance as Indiana Jones is proof that you don't need AI to replace actors “You don’t need artificial intelligence to steal my soul. You can already do it for nickels and dimes with good ideas and talent. He did a brilliant job and it didn’t take AI to do it”

Columbo meets a robot. Nobody told me that Columbo meets a robot.

elon musk is the shadow president and making up what he deems legal. he genuinely wants it to be a crime to know who is working for him

One of my party facts is that according to polls, Americans believe foreign aid is about 25% of the federal budget and on average that it *should* be about 10%. The actual number is less than 1%. Foreign aid has long been a boogey man of the right, so it's not surprising they're vilifying it now.

BUDWEISER FROG #1: budd BUDWEISER FROG #2: dwy BUDWEISER FROG #3: er

Tired of condoms. That's why I finally laminated the damn thing.

trump: i have directed elon musk to build a BEAUTIFUL pit. all disloyal and DEI federal employees should be ready to move there! democrat wins: chuck schumer exposes trump's hypocrisy in stunning video! dems have been working on the pit for years, and trump has stood in the way.

remember stuff like this when they tell you that diversity means a lowering of standards

There’s a particularly evil strain of liberal/progressivism that is rooting for things to get worse in Gaza simply so they can do an “I told you so.” At any point in time Biden could’ve actually flexed US muscle and said knock it the fuck off but he just kept adding fuel to the fire. Own it.

this is gonna be the way things work over the next few years- the admin getting like 1% of what it wants and losing almost every negotiation while the lapdog press spins every loss as a huge historic win, it's literally the modi model

It's been pretty enlightening that Trump has been in power for like four days and liberals are instantly treating the totally unchanged policy as a horrific escalation, purely because someone wearing a red tie is doing it. "kids in cages" all over again.

Fingers crossed that some day the Nimon get to make a long awaited comeback with an updated look like Sutekh did because the Nimon rule and they deserve it

Made this about 3 months ago when Musk did another horrible thing (who knows which one it was at this point) and a friend said he was going to REDACTED

Wild. Top is the NBC upload, bottom is the one aired as the live feed