Profile avatar
chestrovert.bsky.social
1. Be excellent to each other 2. Party on dudes My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
4,813 posts 8,043 followers 747 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 42 Comments 7

here I come motherfuckers, wheeee

submitted 3 hours ago • 3 comments

<watching NHL draft> Oh, Twilight fans are having children now

submitted 1 hour ago • 2 comments

Look the fuckin’ baby just didn’t like the fuckin’ shoes okay.

submitted 363 days ago • 3 comments

cash rich < cheese rich

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

There is beauty in the chaos life in the filth love in the broken hope for the lost

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

always make sure you are getting your 36 hours of sleep a night

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

listening to non-irish people pronounce siobhán

submitted 4 days ago • 39 comments

“Have you ever thought about how the Ewoks probably ate those stormtroopers” yes good. I’m glad. The three best things in Star Wars are Empire Strikes Back, Andor, and the Ewoks eating those stormtroopers. I like it when fascists are killed and consumed by sentient teddy bears.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

getting into the shower: terrible, annoying being in the shower: glorious, amazing getting out of the shower: terrible, annoying

submitted 1 hour ago • 4 comments

Staying out of it is fucking exhausting.

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

[Jennifer Coolidge voice] my back hurts real bad

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Peed in a cool whip bowl out in the boat today, a new personal best

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Sorry I hissed at the grapefruit the server brought out like I was Dracula and he had produced a cross

submitted 15 hours ago • 5 comments

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

You got to know when to hold ’em (butts) know when to fold ’em (butts) Know when to walk away and know when to run (towards/away from butts)

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Beauty hack: don’t be racist

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

I don't have a bed frame and apparently this girl thinks I'm immature because my mattress just lies on the floor. Uh, excuse me, but I think it's pretty mature to find a way to keep monsters from hiding under your bed.

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

There's a Porsche 911 convertible with the top down in front of me at the pharmacy drive-thru and the guy looks exactly what you think a guy who drives a Porsche 911 convertible would look like

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

My kid: "Mommy, can you teach me how to pick a lock?" Me, on the other side of the bathroom door: "No."

submitted 15 hours ago • 6 comments

There used to be more fights on here, you could watch forum pugilism til the cows came home. Not anymore.

submitted 21 hours ago • 3 comments

I'm at the government run pizza hut I'm at the government run taco bell I'm at the government run combination pizza hut and taco bell

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

The perfect crime? Stealing the Monopoly Guy’s Get Out Of Jail Free card. Even if you get caught, who cares?

submitted 11 hours ago • 2 comments

my friend had to take a meeting outside right after we ordered food, and now the food is here and she’s still gone and it looks like I’m a widow who laid out a plate of food for her late husband

submitted 11 hours ago • 17 comments

That scene in Mary Poppins when Mary's reflection in the mirror keeps singing after she stops was not "camera magic," but rather Walt Disney's habit of trapping the souls of actors in mirrors to watch him masturbate

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

The only thing you're resisting is making your pictures accessible by using alt text.

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

In 1989 I mailed Hulk Hogan seven dollars in cash for a Hulkamaniac bandana and I’m starting to think that shit’s never coming

submitted 14 hours ago • 10 comments

we didn't deserve jewel. she was too pure for this world. her hands were too small.

submitted 1 day ago • 16 comments

I’m not really sure if trust should be based on how far we can throw someone.

submitted 13 hours ago • 4 comments

FACT: 99% of households with small china plates have at least one with a thumbprint-sized chip on the rim.

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

Thank you for the life advice, bathroom floor cheeseburger

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

Nearly a decade after Eliza Dushku stepped away acting, the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' alum is embarking on a new career in mental health counseling: 'True calling.'

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

Hand puppets are my love language. I go every where with a hand puppet and have it talk for me. Screaming works best.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

How quirky of the US to cling to really bad ideas like the imperial measuring system and systemic racism

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Do you ever notice that your professional bio gets shorter as you get older? When I was a well keen PhD student I listed every thing I’d ever been involved in or thought about, now I’m like, “Kate lister is a human with a face.”

submitted 18 days ago • 17 comments

Okay

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

guacamole is the most dramatic of the dips

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

unperturbed parking lot bunnies I have known

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

by 30 you should have a best stick you ever found

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

Nut video with sound on (sinister organ music) and shot with Dutch angles. To signify the penis' descent into madness

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

so hot my face is melting into a struggle puddle

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

[scanning headlines] well, I do not support ANY of this

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I remember one time I told Justin Timberlake that I couldn't cry him a river as rivers contain freshwater and our tears have salt in them and then I was tazed half to death by Joey Fatone

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments