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chestrovert.bsky.social
1. Be excellent to each other 2. Party on dudes My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
4,818 posts 8,055 followers 746 following
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Posts 48 Comments 1

I got a friend who eats dandelions if any of you rich people need some landscaping done

submitted 2 hours ago • 9 comments

in awe of this extremely cool cat from 1995

submitted 58 minutes ago • 1 comment

This is the Assman. He lives in the peach tree😉🍑

submitted 52 minutes ago • 0 comments

I don't even need you guys- I get a shitload of attention from strangers every time I step off the bus and crack my head on its wing mirror

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

i've replaced the g string on my guitar so i can play you a thong

submitted 2 hours ago • 2 comments

Are you even an insomniac if you're not turning in your bed like a hot dog on a roller

submitted 1 hour ago • 2 comments

I would like my entire personality to become the slow blink of a cat.

submitted 3 hours ago • 1 comment

100% of the time I am stopped for secondary checks at TSA. I believe they're convinced they'll find satanic dildos and are disappointed that it's mostly meds and bikinis.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

On a hot summer day you can use your armpit sweat to help open those pesky produce bags.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Channeling her inner Garfield.

submitted 11 hours ago • 9 comments

*small account posts one of my jokes word for word* Me: Aww that’s cute *large account posts a joke similar to mine* Me: HOW DARE THEY

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

leaving work at the end of your last day

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

Just look at that big ol booty

submitted 13 hours ago • 7 comments

You're an inconsiderate lover, Charlie Brown.

submitted 14 hours ago • 8 comments

I like to think of myself as a lot like Holly Hunter

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

How I slip into your DMs

submitted 23 hours ago • 4 comments

this bee is at work!!

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

Pretty shocked when my therapist told me the number of Likes you get on social media is actually the only true measure of one’s value as a person

submitted 21 hours ago • 15 comments

Want to feel old? This is 'Squints' Palledorous now.

submitted 631 days ago • 9 comments

i reskeeted this post of mine from 2023 yesterday and got added to a block list called “unwanted desperate selfies" by a guy who hasn’t ever posted. i like it, hey mikey!

submitted 20 hours ago • 16 comments

look at his paw

submitted 19 hours ago • 34 comments

In the woods

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

Find some magic Spin some joy Be kind Or fuck off Either way Enjoy your day ✌️

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Referring to croutons as "croots" until I am forcibly removed from this bodega

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

A good tikka masala may not cure me but it would certainly make things better for a little while

submitted 21 hours ago • 2 comments

Found my new hero & his name is Jake Scalli of Winthrop Massachusetts. The cops know him by name because he won’t let bullshit happen in his town. Love to see it!

submitted 21 hours ago • 4 comments

Saw a little kid learning how to ride a bike and it brought tears to my eyes because he was so dang bad at it

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

Bro can you just hold me for a few minutes until I feel safe bro

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

caught zeus turning into a swan on my ring camera again

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

Pandora shut the lid with a small huff. "Oh, thank you." The smile didn't reach her eyes as she tossed the box onto the ever growing pile of doom. "Just once I wish somebody would get me a gift card," she thought.

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

A database where you can enter your name and it tells you how many people you used to know are now dead. So you know you're winning.

submitted 21 hours ago • 4 comments

i washed my hair and it smells so good does anyone else want some before i eat it all

submitted 22 hours ago • 3 comments

I can't right now, hon, i'm staring at a jellyfish

submitted 23 hours ago • 7 comments

You ever get new sheets and start sliding out of bed and realize the floor isn't that bad so you just live there now and people ask how are you doing and you say good, I moved

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

I’ve started watching Resident Alien and Alan Tudyk is one of the greatest physical actors in the game.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I just sliced my lip open licking the foil from the top of the cream cheese container, never ask me anything.

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

Looks like breakfast is going to be a can of beans! The question is if I even bother to heat them up. That sounds too fancy for a small-town railroad hobo like me. Fire is for train engines, not for heatin' beans

submitted 456 days ago • 0 comments

me: it’s Friday afternoon and I have many important tasks to complete before the end of the day/week also me:

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I have a favorite vegetable peeler and I have a runner up vegetable peeler which is also good but not as great. You are correct in thinking I have no friends

submitted 1 day ago • 22 comments

One of those rainy mornings where it sounds like somebody enthusiastically peeing outside your bedroom window

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

If you're good this week, we can go to Toys R Us on a Saturday 30 years ago and you can experience joy for an hour

submitted 170 days ago • 6 comments

Caturday because the cat told me to get a GD grip and to stop posting his picture on social media The dog thinks it might lead to food

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Simple. Simple. Simple. Make your small joys simpler. A new growth on your plant. A grin of gratitude from another. The smell of the rain. The perfect sentence in your favorite book. Go on and find it. It's yours. Always. I love you

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

*quietly beatboxing while the priest baptizes my son

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

This day in history. 1838. At Montréal Lord Durham forced eight rebel Patriotes to put on disturbingly short pants, then banished them to Bermuda.

submitted 366 days ago • 1 comment

From the moment I wake up I want to be surrounded by violet noise until I am unconscious again in the arms of my beloved

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

here I come motherfuckers, wheeee

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments