christineparkerco.com - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

"You have to be realistic" I literally do not have to

submitted 682 days ago • 2 comments

How many deadlifts do I have to do to not get sweaty carrying in the groceries anymore

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

i have never resonated with something so strongly

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Listen, I love Cleveland but building the city on the mouth of a rerouted river that empties into a giant fucking lake at the edge of a drained swamp was a mistake. (It’s humid; I’m hot.)

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

April’s KAFC drop is here and it’s unhinged. The theme? Grow Wild. 🌿🌼 We’re not here to be quiet & tidy—we’re here to get weird, take up space, & bloom loudly. With confetti. And yelling. Snag this month’s goodies (sticker, magnet, greeting card, art print) by 4/30 at KickassFlairClub.com! #art

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I have been so bummed since our dog Ernie died unexpectedly a few weeks ago that I have barely been able to tolerate social media lately

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

I should not have sat down and picked up Power Wash Simulator in the middle of my work day

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

We picked up Ernie’s ashes today. Possessing a naturally curious (and morbid) mind, I opened the little urn to poke around* in his cremains —and was surprised to find they look like fish tank gravel 😂

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

Cashier: can I see your ID please Me: uh raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason Cashier: nevermind man you’re good

submitted 35 days ago • 13 comments

It’s fine to wear (nice-ish, clean) ripped jeans and a graphic tee (with my art on it) and a hand-knit cardigan to our tax appointment right? HR Block dgaf right? My fucking dog died, I’m not putting on hard pants ok

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

“FriYAY,” I mutter as I lay down in the middle of an intersection.

submitted 35 days ago • 21 comments

Only a couple days left to secure your shrewish stickers, magnets, & greeting cards! Subscribe (or buy once) before the end of the month and get a little colorful silly joy in the mail 🩷🧡💜

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry for being a Debbie downer all week oversharing on the internet is one of my coping mechanisms 🤗

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Because we, being idiots, keep adopting seniors, we lose a dog approx every 2 years 12/2018 Ria 7/2021 Bindi 10/2023 Grandma Doots 3/2025 Ernie We thought Phyllis Vance would be next and that we’d have more time with Ernie but life (death?) is funny(???) that way.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Ah mah gaaaahhhddd it’s finally Friday This has truly been one of the longest weeks of my life [since the last time one of my dogs died]

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Remember Threads? What the hell was that about

submitted 41 days ago • 129 comments

Good news! There’s a recording for the taxes webinar I skipped yesterday! But it’s TWO HOURS LONG so I won’t be watching it

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

Ernie is the fourth dog we’ve had to put down in 7 years so it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with how the grieving process works and after so much practice I really feel like I should be better at handling pet loss by now lol (Me expecting to bounce back two days after losing my best buddy)

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve been sleeping like the dead at night (between bouts of crying) and I took TWO naps yesterday so how am I still SO EXHAUSTED

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

Hey does anybody know what the fuck.

submitted 36 days ago • 73 comments

remember like 2006 when we all thought it was terrible with George Bush lmao

submitted 36 days ago • 19 comments

Book Cover of the Day:

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

Should I get up and go to the free Taxes for Creative Freelancers webinar I registered for? or should I continue disassociating in my bed cave because my little dog died yesterday? decisions, decisions

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

We unexpectedly lost our little dog Ernie yesterday. He had a sudden medical emergency—perfectly fine on Monday morning, gone by Tuesday afternoon.

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

They should ask you at the grocery store when you pick up avocados if you have adhd and if they answer is yes, you’re not allowed to buy any.

submitted 38 days ago • 9 comments

This evening’s pre sleepy night night shenanigans brought to you by Squeaky Pink Ball™

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Devon and I just got wanded and bags searched at Playhouse Square What a sad country this is, when the threat of gun violence makes it all the way to a Sunday afternoon Shakespeare matinee

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

My mother, a boomer: It’s so hard to find nice brown mascara, it only comes in black. I don’t like to wear black eye makeup; it’s so harsh. Me, a punk as fuck millennial: That’s why I like it.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

The only legal way to eat a 🍊 cutie is standing over the kitchen trash can By law you have to mumble “wow, so sweet/juicy/easy to peel” to yourself or the cops will come and arrest you

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

If you have a kitten who has never been given canned food or seen it happen, it still goes wild when it hears the sound of a can opener. This indicates that deep in the evolutionary past, cats hunted to extinction some type of robot containing fish

submitted 41 days ago • 6 comments

I just realized I can buy Calico Critters for my niblings to play with when they come to my house and no one can stop me This is definitely not an excuse to buy Calico Critters for myself and I will definitely not play with them by myself That would be crazy haha I am a grownup

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

"You have to be realistic" I literally do not have to

How many deadlifts do I have to do to not get sweaty carrying in the groceries anymore

i have never resonated with something so strongly

Listen, I love Cleveland but building the city on the mouth of a rerouted river that empties into a giant fucking lake at the edge of a drained swamp was a mistake. (It’s humid; I’m hot.)

I have been so bummed since our dog Ernie died unexpectedly a few weeks ago that I have barely been able to tolerate social media lately

I should not have sat down and picked up Power Wash Simulator in the middle of my work day

We picked up Ernie’s ashes today. Possessing a naturally curious (and morbid) mind, I opened the little urn to poke around* in his cremains —and was surprised to find they look like fish tank gravel 😂

Cashier: can I see your ID please Me: uh raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason Cashier: nevermind man you’re good

It’s fine to wear (nice-ish, clean) ripped jeans and a graphic tee (with my art on it) and a hand-knit cardigan to our tax appointment right? HR Block dgaf right? My fucking dog died, I’m not putting on hard pants ok

“FriYAY,” I mutter as I lay down in the middle of an intersection.

Only a couple days left to secure your shrewish stickers, magnets, & greeting cards! Subscribe (or buy once) before the end of the month and get a little colorful silly joy in the mail 🩷🧡💜

Sorry for being a Debbie downer all week oversharing on the internet is one of my coping mechanisms 🤗

Because we, being idiots, keep adopting seniors, we lose a dog approx every 2 years 12/2018 Ria 7/2021 Bindi 10/2023 Grandma Doots 3/2025 Ernie We thought Phyllis Vance would be next and that we’d have more time with Ernie but life (death?) is funny(???) that way.

Ah mah gaaaahhhddd it’s finally Friday This has truly been one of the longest weeks of my life [since the last time one of my dogs died]

Remember Threads? What the hell was that about

Good news! There’s a recording for the taxes webinar I skipped yesterday! But it’s TWO HOURS LONG so I won’t be watching it

Ernie is the fourth dog we’ve had to put down in 7 years so it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with how the grieving process works and after so much practice I really feel like I should be better at handling pet loss by now lol (Me expecting to bounce back two days after losing my best buddy)

I’ve been sleeping like the dead at night (between bouts of crying) and I took TWO naps yesterday so how am I still SO EXHAUSTED

Hey does anybody know what the fuck.

remember like 2006 when we all thought it was terrible with George Bush lmao

Book Cover of the Day:

Should I get up and go to the free Taxes for Creative Freelancers webinar I registered for? or should I continue disassociating in my bed cave because my little dog died yesterday? decisions, decisions

We unexpectedly lost our little dog Ernie yesterday. He had a sudden medical emergency—perfectly fine on Monday morning, gone by Tuesday afternoon.

They should ask you at the grocery store when you pick up avocados if you have adhd and if they answer is yes, you’re not allowed to buy any.

This evening’s pre sleepy night night shenanigans brought to you by Squeaky Pink Ball™

Devon and I just got wanded and bags searched at Playhouse Square What a sad country this is, when the threat of gun violence makes it all the way to a Sunday afternoon Shakespeare matinee

My mother, a boomer: It’s so hard to find nice brown mascara, it only comes in black. I don’t like to wear black eye makeup; it’s so harsh. Me, a punk as fuck millennial: That’s why I like it.

The only legal way to eat a 🍊 cutie is standing over the kitchen trash can By law you have to mumble “wow, so sweet/juicy/easy to peel” to yourself or the cops will come and arrest you

If you have a kitten who has never been given canned food or seen it happen, it still goes wild when it hears the sound of a can opener. This indicates that deep in the evolutionary past, cats hunted to extinction some type of robot containing fish

I just realized I can buy Calico Critters for my niblings to play with when they come to my house and no one can stop me This is definitely not an excuse to buy Calico Critters for myself and I will definitely not play with them by myself That would be crazy haha I am a grownup

Artists are really the backbone of social media, they’re often pulling double or triple duty as shitposters, image makers, and just cool people

Knuckle tats: ALT! TXT!

“No problem!” I lied politely