cicerofgrey.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Nay, a worse death is having a skeet with a typo getting thousamds of likes and reposts.

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

A few days before my mom died I asked if she named me after a character from her favourite Jane Austen novel and she just laughed. That wasn’t a clear answer, Linda, now I will never know.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

I’ve begun pretending I have a devoted servant named Patricia. When I finish a chore, I say, “Thank you, Patricia!” in a high-pitched British accent. Her counterpart is Stephanie. When I can’t find something or I’ve left a mess, I scold her loudly. “Stephanie, this is the last straw!”

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Getting a like is someone eavesdropping your internal monologue and laughing from the next table over.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The only thing I condone so far is the paper straw ban but also lol what the fuck, we’re so fucking doomed hahaha cries in expat

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve spent the last half hour or so trying to figure out where in England my new boss is from based on his accent and I have come to the conclusion that I should have just waited until i get a chance to ask him and gone to bed earlier.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

“Ok but what if we make a wig that bites you?” - the guy who invented guinea pigs

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Nobody asked, but my user pic is an illustration of me as a superhero with useless superpowers based on an old tweet of mine. The artist is Jeff Baker, creator of the comic High Support Needs, who I met on TikTok.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

HERO REBEL POWER PALEO MACRO NITRO BLAST CHUNKY CRUNCH ABS SUPER CLEAN SWEAT BOWL

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

The worst part about being fat enough to have double d breasts is having to resist playing them like bongos when I am out in public.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Honestly it’s pretty wild that we normalise selling your bones to the fae.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Feed me a steamed artichoke dipped in homemade aioli like one of your French girls.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My 15yo needs to work on the habit of bending down to spit in the sink so I put this little kappa here to remind him to bow. What are some other ways I can incorporate cryptids to reinforce good habits?

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

One fun thing about living in Australia is having a Metallica song pop into my head whenever I walk down the cereal aisle.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck marry kill: Boards of Canada Aphex Twin Squarepusher

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I just caught myself reading into my own actions toward my future self as passive aggressive pettiness, so probably I should make an appointment with my therapist.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Movies you’ve watched more than 6 times, gifs only.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

“The container is twice as large as it needs to be.” - my cousin, the civil engineer

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Apparently people are just out here just using bamboo toothbrushes without feeling like their skin is made of bees and that is just wild.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

So…how long until the Ides of March? Because I have a great idea for a way to celebrate it.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I couldn’t remember Pepe LePew’s name or the word skunk the other day so I referred to him as “that stinky French rape weasel.”

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

farts, then whispers into your ear Smell that? I’m inside you now.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Is it still a Dutch oven if you fart in an enclosed shower or is there a different national and culinary nickname, like, a Belgian sous vide?

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The best part of “Meet the Teacher Night” is smiling and looking the feral kid who misbehaves dead in the eye while straight up lying to their parents about how well behaved they are in class. Fucks their head right up.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Me: (applying eye makeup knowing full well that my eyes will water within 15 minutes and ruin it) Gotta look good for Meet the Teacher Night in 12 hours!

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Not to mention a few generations of memes away from evolving into Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

A creepy ass doll with eldritch powers of surveillance and omniscience that appears mysteriously around the house in different scenarios to scare children into obedience? So, basically, Elf on the Shelf.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

“He’s trying so hard to mindfuck you but he can’t find the clitoris.” - Me, explaining to my friend why I don’t enjoy Christopher Nolan’s movies

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Frantically wiping at my face in the grocery store to find out what part of me is bleeding only to discover it was just that the chuck roast leaked on my hand.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Aoli is just mayonnaise that did a gap year in Europe.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

“It means I killed someone for asking personal questions.” -Me, to the next kid who asks what my tattoo means.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

6yo: I like your new shoes Mummy. Are they from Subway? The shoes:

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Leveraged the sympathy after a workplace incident to get a leave request approved for my upcoming dick appointment. Life is good.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Paying for things entirely in pennies is now a political act.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Booty is in the eye of the butthole-der.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Not to be old on main, but Gen Z using “crash out” to mean losing your shit instead of falling asleep has got me all kinds of fucked up.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Teenagers being self-conscious and competitive about their appearance is hilarious. You’re all equally awkward, disgusting and hideous. Get over yourselves, lol.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Met my new neighbours who all seem very nice. Pretty sure they already secretly hate me, but time will tell.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Agent Cooper and Denise slashfic but Agent cooper is a trans man and they don’t fuck they just cuddle and hold hands and plan their meals and grocery shopping for the week.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment