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clawson.bsky.social
Half mermaid. Half centaur. All human.
120 posts 31 followers 61 following
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The two most important things you learn in business school are how to grow mustache and how pack your lunch in your briefcase.

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and flattery isn't worth a damn

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Hurt people hurt people, but right people right people. (Also: male people mail people)

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

How should I get revenge against my entire book club? #reademandweep

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Evil is whatever distracts us

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I'm party to both the FB group where physicists answer ppl's questions, as well as a group where everyone pretends to be stupid. There's nothing worse than accidentally mixing up those 2 threads

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

The early bird gets the worm. The late riser learns to hunt.

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

I only have 2 speeds: #1 is cool and dangerous. #2 is suuper nice, probably smoothing over the things I said and did while cool and dangerous

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

I propose a rivalry: Nothing is quantized. There is no quantum world.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Just because you're an open book, it doesn't mean you're easy to read (And any book that gets left open probably doesn't have much of a spine)

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

"you miss 100% of the shots you don't make"

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

Holy mackerel you guys give a lot of advice online. Is it because nobody asked you?

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

I like to read the newspaper a day late because it makes me feel like I'm from the future. Then I laugh at you silly little fools who have no clue what's coming. Also I fact check the horoscopes. #journalisntm

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

You know who glamorizes the apocalypse? Those yearning to start over. But if given the chance, they'd end up in the same place again, fetishizing a world where they could rise to be King of the Zombies. Doubtful. If they'd learned from their mistakes they wouldn't be dreaming to start over again.

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

FML while mowing a clever hashtag into my lawn today, I made the lettering so big, it'd take a drone to get an aerial shot of it! Why did I make it so huge ! I hate being stupid!

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

If you're granted 3 wishes, don't make the same mistake I did: don't wish for unlimited wishes. You can already do that you dummy! Wish for something that comes true!

submitted 127 days ago • 0 comments

The irony is not lost on me that my twerkshop failed to turn a profit #money-maker

submitted 127 days ago • 0 comments

The best time to read the newspaper is just whenever it's windiest outside

submitted 269 days ago • 0 comments

What the heck? Why don't gyms have giant trampolines? #24hourfitness

submitted 286 days ago • 0 comments

The difference between friendship and politics is keeping score sᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀ ᴀʟᴇʀᴛ: ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡᵒˢᵉ

submitted 309 days ago • 0 comments

I never end a first date thinking: 'that was the right amount of time to spend antagonizing him about philosophy.' #d8db8

submitted 310 days ago • 0 comments

My current self-love routine is knowing that it's OK if I feel like I need to burn this city to the ground. Because, guess what! I deserve a treat.

submitted 319 days ago • 0 comments

Check outbthe interactive time map of the ecliptic path in the "Eyes on the Solar System" tool #NASA #NSS #MarsSociety science.nasa.gov/eclipses/fut... #solareclipse2024

submitted 336 days ago • 0 comments

When I want to cheer up, I read my own posts and laugh my ass off. When I want to feel sad, I think about that.

submitted 385 days ago • 0 comments