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cloxdale.bsky.social
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Comedy writer and script editor. My name is an anagram of 'Relaxed Cool Man' but don't let that fool you. 👴 I made a helpful starter pack full of divorced men named Geoff. 📺 Work enquiries - Georgia Kanner @ Independent Talent Linktr.ee/cloxdale
212 posts 3,310 followers 163 following
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Posts 41 Comments 9

Thinking of an alternative timeline in which WWE signed Jethro instead of Logan Paul

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

I have some of my best ideas just before I go to sleep, such as: get some sleep ffs you have work in the morning cos none of your ideas are good

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Interviewer: Can you explain this recent gap in your employment? Me: Can you explain THIS recent gap? *I do a V with my fingers and press them to my lips as I slowly extend my tongue, licking up and down for ages.* Interviewer: Under salary expectations, you've written 'yes.'

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I have some of my best ideas just before I go to sleep, such as: get some sleep ffs you have work in the morning cos none of your ideas are good

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Sitting on my own petard until it goes numb so I can feel like someone else is hoisting me

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Can't wait til this is thrown into a river due to his historic crimes

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

everyone goes through a rough period in their life where they play too much minesweeper

submitted 4 days ago • 90 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

Nodding sagely at this as I scrunch up my Putin biopic script and redraft it as a hip-hop musical

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Really struggling with week 2 of Couch to 5k. Very out of breath, zero memory of my last run and now the police are at my door saying I've robbed a bank?

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

On the tube and just managed to catch a sneeze with my elbow. The old guy opposite isn’t even grateful and keeps bleating on about how I've 'broken his nose.'

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Kohler Recalls 30,000 Bathtubs Shipped With Nude Man Already Inside theonion.com/kohler-...

submitted 44 days ago • 65 comments

Spent the day babyproofing my flat. No idea how they keep getting in.

submitted 9 days ago • 5 comments

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Teach a fish to man?We’re in big fucking trouble.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I’m hearing this more and more

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Spent the day babyproofing my flat. No idea how they keep getting in.

submitted 9 days ago • 5 comments

Subscribed to the physical @theonion.com newspaper and I now regret ever receiving information in any other way

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Really enjoyed this from @johnmcomedy.bsky.social

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone know how to get around Venmo’s character limit?

submitted 11 days ago • 8 comments

- Tony, TONY, where are... What are you doing in the back alley, man? There is a line of customers out the door! Everyone is waiting for their food. What is... - Shh-shhhhh! I need to make sure that these two dogs fuck tonight.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Roses are red Morning has risen

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

I've started Couch to 5k and I'm already showing worrying obedience to virtual Steve Cram. I ran past a nan feeding the ducks earlier and when he whispered 'push her in' I nearly did.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Why would you make your narrator unreliable. I trusted you and purchased this book and this is how you repay me

submitted 14 days ago • 226 comments

You think they're angry now, wait til they realise I don't own a dog

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

We’re hiring. Please help us share this far and wide.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

Super Bowl is impossible to call this year

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Binged this last night, not his best work imo

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Another ban from the GTA VI subreddit for asking whether you can steal cars in Grand Theft Auto VI

submitted 19 days ago • 6 comments

Guys, I’ve just seen the worst job advert in the world. Absolute state of this.

submitted 20 days ago • 521 comments

If you're in Cardiff on Sunday, you owe it to yourself to go and see very funny Robin's very funny show

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

So pleased for him. Gigged with him in Falmouth last year and he smashed it, really professional opener and lovely guy. He's been tearing up the circuit for years, glad to see the scene recognising talent. Might be thinking of someone else actually.

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

Me today after nine weeks of January

submitted 24 days ago • 4 comments

Have I done my taxes and paid the bill or do I just have a vague memory of doing that a while ago which is actually a memory from the previous tax year? If I don't look into it, I never have to find out

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Nosferatu is a brilliant horror film because Lily-Rose Depp’s performance taps into a deep rooted fear we all share - being related to Johnny Depp.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

This song by @christycoysh.bsky.social is about to hit a million views. Just wish I could work out what it's about. www.tiktok.com/@christycoys...

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Me relentlessly asking it 'who let the dogs out?' until global temperature reaches 1.7°C so I can stop wearing my big coat.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

This song by @christycoysh.bsky.social is about to hit a million views. Just wish I could work out what it's about. www.tiktok.com/@christycoys...

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

"this lives in my head rent free" i swear to god what are you contrasting this against? a system in which you charge rent to things you've seen or remember??

submitted 29 days ago • 4 comments