Guys, I’ve just seen the worst job advert in the world. Absolute state of this.
1 / 3
Comments
"...your clients would follow you into war"
"Apply if you're ready to...start becoming a conqueror."
£23,800-£45,000
Production: did you think of asking us what we can deliver?
You don’t know what you’re selling until you show up for a walk along & find yourself walking around the suburbs trying to sell pizza coupons with an idiot who bought into their BS
📌
Guaranteed this is time shares, shit medicare supplements (yes i see this is the UK), garbage investment products, etc
Basically you’re being asked to scam
“It’s unlimited”
Instant red flag
https://instagram.com/ straightlinesalesgroup/
Christ.
It translates as
“Work yourself to death and get paid a pittance”
Your move deranged would-be employer.
We have just the job for you...
I’m getting Brewdog vibes.
I found their company website... And this is what you're genuinely met with...
Dearie me
The rest is just white male twattery.
If this landed on my desk its writer would legitimately be out of the door by lunchtime with a "if you want to be owned by your employer, BlackRock is the next street over"
Salesman: "We want killers!"
Person who jumps out of helicopters into warzones with guns: "Are you between the ages of 18 and 45, and looking for a challenge?"
https://youtu.be/NouJ0ObVnTI?si=jvQ-9IQpHefo-FtP
It'd be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
🍿 🎥 🍿
Guarantee it.
Well, receptionists and junior doctors.
I strongly dislike daily stand-ups, even ones that aren't so cringeworthy.
Also them: "Pay 23,000 - 45,000 pounds"
Now I have to reread it with either an overly northern accent or some posh twat accent.
Even uses the word Mom 😅 crucially, yer Da doesnt and never has babysat. Which is why youre applying for this.
Also the likelihood that whatever dipshit wrote this constantly makes excuses and blames others for their own failure is 100%
Or perhaps a more organic form of idiot.
“I’ll tell you what we’re selling. We’re selling DREAMS.”
“Ok but what really?”
“We’re selling POWER. We’re selling AMBITION.”
“Is it, by any chance, an insurance scam?”
……. “DREAMS.”
BUSINESS OF COURSE
That's a bit fuckin' rapey
- this utterly deranged employer, probably.
The less said about that kind of person the better…
salary range: screen protector salesman down at the mall
Salary range: goon
salary range: "exposure"
Oddly, I was told, "It looks like there aren't many great matches for your search." That would be "sales savage" "foreplay" "coward." 🤣