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cogitoergowtf.bsky.social
'Shut up', he explained. -- Ring Lardner Vaxxed to the max; > 9x "We fight our battles with the army we have; not the army we want."
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Update: I mount my smoke alarms on the ceiling with magnets. I have a guitar in my bedroom. I have just beaten the smoke alarm off the ceiling with guitar, and removed the battery. Should I die slumbering through a fire before 10 am, it'll look like a failed musician's suicide.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I have lifelong, unrelenting insomnia. My best sleep is between 4am and 7am. The degree to which I have murderously anthropomorphized this FUCKING "now is a great time to replace my battery" chirping smoke alarm is surprising, even to me.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

#squaredle squaredle.com 02/23: 69/69 words (+2 bonus words) 🎯 Perfect accuracy 🔥 Solve streak: 226

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

#Strands #357 “Oh, this old thing?” 🟡🔵🔵🔵 🔵🔵🔵

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

#Connections Puzzle #623 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

#squaredle squaredle.com 02/17 (Weekly Subscriber Puzzle): 116/116 words (+2 bonus words) 🎯 Perfect accuracy

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

#waffle #waffle1129 5/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 302 🧙 #wafflewizard wafflegame.net

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

When Elon Musk says "failure to respond will be taken as resignation", I think he's talking about his dating life, where women just give up and fuck him to get it over with.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

President Krasnov is full on fucked-in-the-head. #IMPEACHTRUMP

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

I realize Pope Francis doesn't hate gays, doesn't hate Jews, doesn't hate immigrants, doesn't preach the "Gospel of Prosperity", and doesn't tell you that if you don't donate to his ministry, then Satan wins, but if all you've got is shit-talking him, go fuck yourself, k?

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

I have very complicated work machine setup - 2PCs 5 monitors. Win 11 does NOT retain the monitor IDs when I reboot, so RDP is a fucking nightmare to get right again. I'm shutting everything down to make some changes, so basically if you don't hear from me again, look in the obits.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

Painting a silver lining dept: I put a hepa filter in my bedroom, thinking it might help with the stuffy nose issue. Good news: I don't need a white noise Sound Machine anymore!

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Divorce is complicated; when you read about one, you find youself taking sides; but you also know you don't have the whole story. That's what makes the Bezos divorce so different: In the aftermath,it's crystal clear: Mackenzie Bezos is a Good Person, and Jeff is a Piece of Shit.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#Quintalist #191 2/5 Brand Value*** 1️⃣1️⃣⬜⬜⬜ 2️⃣2️⃣⬜⬜⬜ 3️⃣3️⃣⬜⬜⬜ 4️⃣4️⃣⬜⬜⬜ ⬜5️⃣⬜⬜⬜ Streak: 2 quintalist.com

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#squaredle squaredle.com 02/22: 65/65 words 🎯 Perfect accuracy 🔥 Solve streak: 225

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#spellingbee www.nytimes.com/badges/games...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Spangram first. Puzzle took... maybe a minute? #Strands #356 “Here we (don't) go again” 🟡🔵🔵🔵 🔵

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#Connections Puzzle #622 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#wordle1344 Uninspiring, but: I'll take it. #Wordle 1,344 4/6* ⬛🟨🟨⬛⬛ 🟨⬛⬛🟨🟨 🟩🟨⬛🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Imagine you're tasked with lowering Fed cost for Medicare. BUT: you can't kick recipients off, and you can't lower payouts to docs. Most effective would be to devise better ways for recipients to die sooner. All of a sudden, Musk/Trump cuts are understandable. #IMPEACHTRUMP

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

No matter how shitty you thought Trump was, turns out he's even shittier. No matter how petty you thought Trump was, turns out he's even pettier. No matter how incompetent you thought Trump was, turns he's even more. Unless your lips are glued to his ass, he WILL fuck you over.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#spellingbee www.nytimes.com/badges/games...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

This game... Is this a good score? No idea. #Semantle #1120 ✅ 43 Guesses 🔝 Guess #41 🥈 996/1000 💡 0 Hints semantle.com

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Prince and Princess, wondering exactly where it is that *I* intend to sleep tonight, since this bed is clearly unavailable.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

#waffle #waffle1128 5/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 301 🧙 #wafflewizard wafflegame.net

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Oh, ffs sake. Yes. Immediately, if not sooner. We have only - let me check - right, we have only 5 fucking billion years left.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

As the saying goes: "Scum of a feather stick flock together." Christ, what an utter scumbag Trump is. Speaker Mike Johnson must swell with pride over this kind of Christian Goodness.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Well...Musk IS a fucking liar, so this isn't altogether surprising, is it? #STOPMUSK

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

#squaredle squaredle.com 02/21: 60/60 words 🎯 Perfect accuracy 🔥 Solve streak: 224

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

#wordle1343 Guess 2 was intuition. Obviously wrong, but it did help quite a bit! #Wordle 1,343 4/6* 🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩🟨🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

The Musk/Trump Administration has decided Medicare will no longer cover Telehealth visits, as of 4/1/25. Why? Because Fuck You, that's why. When will you get it through your heads that Musk/Trump have nothing but contempt for you, and would be happiest if you just stopped living.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

#spellingbee www.nytimes.com/badges/games...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

If Elon Musk had $50 instead of $500B, he'd be parking cars and forgetting where he put them for a living. And still be offering his sperm to whoever would take it.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

#waffle #waffle1127 5/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 300 🧙 #wafflewizard wafflegame.net

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

When the post mortem of the United States is written, an objective eye will rank the person most responsible for our slide from pinnacle to pit. Not Donald Trump. Not Elon Musk. It'll be Mitch McConnell: corrosive, destructive, relentless, and, unfortunately, effective.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Gonna have to wait for the weekend - too much of that stupid "work" thing I do.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

#squaredle squaredle.com 02/20: 55/55 words 🎯 Perfect accuracy 🔥 Solve streak: 223

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Spangram first. Super fast easy one. #Strands #354 “Together for the present” 🟡🔵🔵🔵 🔵🔵🔵

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

#Connections Puzzle #620 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

#wordle1242 Mostly algorithmic, but luck played a part on 3. #Wordle 1,342 3/6* ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛🟨🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

#waffle #waffle1126 5/5 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩⭐🟩🟩 🟩⭐🟩⭐🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔥 streak: 299 🦿 #wafflelegend wafflegame.net

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Regular flossing (at least once a week) may reduce the risk of stroke linked to blood clots from the heart and conditions..." Once a week... It will also increase the odds you'll die during sex, mainly because then there's at least a *chance* you'll be having some.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

High Concept Comedy centering on chronic overuse of anabolic steroid, featuring cameos from dozens of pro body-builders and wrestlers: "Honey, I Shrunk the Testicles" Disney: I'm available for coming up with other great ideas like this one.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Over-sharing upon being brought an espresso: Her: Sugar? Me: No, thanks. Her: I spoon off the crema; that's where the bitterness is. Me: No. Her: No? Me: No; the bitterness is in my heart. [awkward silence] Her: Will there be anything else? Me: And therein lies the bitterness.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment