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coherentvoid.bsky.social
🏳️‍⚧️ she/they Artist, scientist, wanderer. Grasping at dreams I refuse to abandon. Classical animation is my current passion, but I'm also an expert developer and know my astrodynamics.
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When one loser’s #fomo is the world’s problem.

I know I may just be pissed about everything, so this may be war nerves. All week, I've felt this, "time's running out" feeling. Sitting in the warm evening breeze, I had this sense saying, "it's here." Dunno. Maybe nothing. I definitely don't feel I'm living in the world I was born in.

Fuck it, what's left to say?

Fucking US administration will kill thousands more, give PTSD to the entire world and accelerate climate change to the point of no return.

I mean, there's no reason for any country not to throw into a nuclear war now. The GOP just fucked everybody over, globally. Again. All I wanted to do was 3D print a ceiling medallion. Bad feeling about the coming week.

Oh my god. I just realized that it has been a whole year since I started coming out to people. I was so scared.

I really feel like we are at a scientific crossroads. Using AI to manage information is like putting the Rubiks cube into an unsolvable state. It's like moving society to a different logical graph with false, ever changing axioms. A parallel universe of the mind.

Too many people believe that all human knowledge is available online. I know equations that only exist scribbled on papers in boxes tucked in a closet. I've seen rooms full of research papers with no digital footprint SHREDDED by managers because it was a "fire code violation."

It really seems like the wealthy have discovered that they can play us against each other and put us in the line of fire for laughs. That seems to be the lesson they took from COVID. We need to find ways to unite. It's the isolation that left us exposed.

I just noticed that I'm not sharing music I make because I so many people bullied and criticized me about it throughout my life that I "unplug the amp" when others are present.

I have a tendency to put myself down a lot, so today I'll try the opposite: I love that I have unusually long legs and hourglass proportions.

It still kind of trips me out that my parents just stopped listening to music in 1978 and completely missed the 80s and the 90s. I guess they were lost when the radio star was killed.

I'm thinking steam deck, ps2 emulator, Dragon Quest VIII. I never actually played it, even though I bought it.

Sometimes I catch a brief moment of lucidity and I am struck by how absolutely fucked my mental health is. This isn't normal. I'm old enough to remember times without a miasma of insanity permeating the atmosphere.

It is really hard not to get discouraged every. damn. day. I am trying to stay amped up and defiant. But it isn't easy.

We need to be more aggressively driving home the point that AI reliance is just a new form of illiteracy.

What trump and the GOP are doing to science is more dangerous than many realize. By eliminating scientists who resist the agenda, they seek to take the light and conscience out of our world, reducing it to mindless tech that serves their warmongering bloodlust.

There is a lot I really like about Austin. But if I am being honest, there's no way I can remain in Texas forever.

Oh no. Feel an illness coming on. No no no no. Please not sick on fitness start day.

Damn. If I do this big orbital dynamics map thing, the game is going to need to be 3D. Okay. I can prototype this. This is low scope.

I actually think that a robust infrastructure of cislunar space colonies is more interesting than bases on Mars. Do you realize how many people we can fit in our local orbital neighborhood?

Okay. Looks like I will have no problem optimizing my orbital state vector integration C++ code into Godot. Luckily I implemented three separate Runge Kutta methods and the entire EGM96 gravity model. I designed this fairly well. Easy to add lunar gravity terms too.

It may be some kind of reporting bias, but SpaceX failure rates seem to be increasing as trump damages NASA budgets. I wonder how much NASA has been carrying little elon's little ego.

FINALLY made it back to the coffee shop to start my game again. Yes, it looks sloppy, but after two months with no ceiling, this is major progress. Why is the game design back in space again? I don't know.

Remember that time when I had a real application for using adaptive AI systems to resolve non-gaussian distributions for bayesian estimation, but the tech bro manager passed on it because "LLM make code?" I remember because I quit that dumb job.

I always got the feeling that Elon really does think he's Tony Stark. He never talks like he understands that the Apollo or Space Shuttle programs were huge collaborative efforts. That's why SpaceX is having issues.

I wonder if I think hard enough about it, I could learn to directly visualize four spatial dimensions. What if the only thing stopping us is just not trying?

Just throwing this out: Did anybody else dream of a break-in or burglary during the days around a major solar eclipse (2017, 2024)? Apparently this is a thing and not just me?