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corpseminder.bsky.social
EMT, dumb sound engineer, and Custodes smoothbrain
172 posts 80 followers 99 following
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2025 is here and I'm just as much of a moron as I was in 2023 so there's that

Before you say something mean about Henry Kissinger, take a breath and see if you can think of something meaner

Important to remember that while Kissinger was a bloodthirsty liar, relentlessly cruel and callous in the prosecution of both an illegal war and overthrowing democratically elected leaders, manifesting nightmare atrocities that make the mind reel still... He was also a real piece of shit that guy.🎈

I think I'm finally ready to die

I didn't vote for Biden in 2020 and I'm not voting for him in 2024

Just because someone carries something well Doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy 😔

These TikTok kids are morons. Osama bin Laden is one of the most evil people in history, responsible for the September 11 murders. To put it in figures you TikTok kids will understand, that was nearly 0.27 assaults on Gaza.

Change my pitch up Hug my bitch up

hey I just met you and this is crazy but if you keep following the power lines they will lead you to the face of god

buying the single roll of toilet paper, telling the cashier "i'm trying to quit"

I buy my nickels from a dime who goes by the name of Penny

white people love to say "doo-dee-doo-dee-doo" when they are performing a task in front of you and feel overcome by an implacable sense of insecurity over the amount of time the task in question is taking to complete

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

I think self love over this next year is gonna be not calling myself the R word anymore and probably cutting back on how often I refer to myself as a fag

How the fuck am I wearing three different shades of navy

the four words every woman wants to hear

My weird food thing as a kid was stealing the soy sauce packets from our drawers and drinking them. Also I'd eat Manzanilla olives by the jar and drink the juice

Trying to have sex in the cybertruck and accidentally getting your virginity back

If you wanted to find out who other people thought should play Link in a live action Legend of Zelda movie you used to have to pay $5 for a copy of Wizard magazine.

first person ever to wrap a towel around their waist: “check this shit out”

it says a lot about the world that when you work with someone new who isn’t a total dickhead, and is likable even, it makes your day

Me rn

karl suburban

Water with a surfactant added to it to intentionally reduce cohesion is called wet water