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craigfarrell.bsky.social
14 posts 114 followers 167 following
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I asked my Queen for a date. Someone to play chess with is great! I am no Grandmaster, The result? A disaster. But I knew that I’d found my check-mate.
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I work with an office bore. Daily, we’re at war. He’s an utter plonker But what gets up my honker Is his lemony fresh scent of Lenor.
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E)HE
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I knew our marriage was dead. I was no longer the man that she’d wed. But top of her list Was the way that I pissed, But it’s a skill to do it stood on your head.
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My wife likes to kick up a fuss. And to be honest, it’s quite tedious. The lettuce to wash, So water I splosh. And yet we’ve all still outlasted Liz Truss.
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Be it helicopter or drone, When cycling out on my own, I think of Phil Liggett; Increase my watts per minute, And ride to victory and the Maillot Jaune.
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My waistline is forever expanding, Because I don’t want any misunderstanding. With airplane food, Leftovers are rude. Please raise your tray in preparation for landing.
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I love the Tit and the Thrush. To see them is a wonderful rush. With hair from my chest, To feather their nest, One in hand is worth two in my bush.
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When I’m getting my weekly injection For my body mass index correction, It gives me great joy To cosplay Sick Boy Doing drugs in a state of dejection.
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Some people think they have clout. “You’re very photogenic!” They shout. Compliment or insult? Whatever. The result? I’m beautiful, both inside and out.
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My wife offered me a tea. She’s thoughtful like that, you see. But often, my shower Loses its power, So there I stood, in a puddle of pee.
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An old lady didn’t hold the door, Livid it left me, and more! Rudeness is the worst, In on her, I burst, Now I’ll never forget what I saw!
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Oh, it really makes my heart ache, When I make a recruitment mistake. It had never occurred, That on Microsoft Word, They hadn’t heard of using a page break.
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That was Savage.