dadjokesean.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

What is brown and sticky? A stick. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

The inventor of the trash compactor has gotten really rich. That guy is crushing it! #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Accidentally made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I made it half way to work before I realized I forgot my car. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

At dinner, my frustrated date said, “so napping and sitting around are seriously your only hobbies?? You told me that you were interesting!” “No, no,” I corrected, “I said that I was into resting.” #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Dad putting car in reverse Dad: Ahh, this takes me back. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Had to hire a bouncer for an event I was hosting, and afterwards he was constantly asking me if I was mad at him. Turns out I accidentally hired an Insecurity Guard. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

My Doctor told me not to eat anything fatty. I asked “Like bacon or cheeseburgers?” He replied, “No fatty, don’t eat anything.” #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

5 ants rented an apartment with 5 other ants. Now they're tenants. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I just bought 50 chicks from the farm… They were going cheep. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Why did the anteater call in sick? He had a stomach bug. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I've been working at the bicycle factory for two weeks. They've already made me the spokes person. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Why aren’t koalas actually bears? Because they lack the koalafications. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-ya-think-he-saurus #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Someone just called my phone. They sneezed, coughed, and then hung up. I'm getting tired of these cold calls. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

How many software engineers does it take to put in a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk replies “It’s a freebie” #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Why didn't the teddy bear eat it's dinner? Because it was stuffed. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

I told my wife I'd like to be cremated. She made an appointment for next Tuesday. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I spent my entire life savings on pasta. It was worth every penne. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Every morning I announce to my family that I’m going running, but then I don’t go… …it’s a running joke. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I'll never forget what my grandad said to me before he croaked. He said "hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?" #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

There's a big sale at the Lego store. People are lined up for blocks. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I was fishing with my dad and not having a great time. I said to him “My feet are wet and it smells terrible!” “Yeah,” my dad replied, “I’m in the same boat!” #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone told Sam not to sing But Samsung... #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

My son said to me "Dad, today I watched someone do 50 pushups, do you think could you do that?" I said of course son, don't want to brag but I could probably watch someone do 100 pushups. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

My wife convinced me to get orthopedic insoles. I thought it was a dumb idea at first. I stand corrected. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My boss asked me why I get sick only on work days. I have a weekend immune system. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

What gives you butterflies every time you do it, no matter how many times you've done it before? Raising caterpillars #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Do you know why good looking people are busier than average looking people? I will tell you later. I am very busy right now. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

My dog just got home after his first day of work as a guard dog. I asked him how it went. Ruff is all he said. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know why everyone hates lazy people. We didn’t even do anything! #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

A man assaulted me with milk How dairy #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Once I paid $20 to see Prince in concert. But I partied like it was $19.99 #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

My wife gave me an ultimatum. It's either her, or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

My girlfriend unexpectedly dumped me shortly after her organ transplant. She said she had a change of heart. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

As I handed my dad his fiftieth birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said… “You know, one would have been enough!” #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own lingerie company for women? Unfortunately, Shatner Panties turned out to be a terrible choice for a brand name. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

I showed up to work and my boss told me I should have been at work at 8. I asked him, "Why? What happened at 8?" #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

I asked my daughter to give me the phone book. She laughed at me, called me a dinosaur, and handed me her iPhone. so... the spider is dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is pissed. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

What do you call a cult that is hard to get into? Difficult. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Why do they call liquor “spirits?” Because it’s boos! #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A Fizzician #Dadjoke #Joke

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments