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damilarree.bsky.social
☕ Powered by coffee, sarcasm, and unverified life advice.
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When we say that we hope this post is ‘awesome,’ we don’t mean we want it to be expressive of awe or terror. We mean that we hope you like it. This reduction of a word's intensity is called ‘semantic bleaching.’

submitted 3 days ago • 70 comments

When you set up a camera to see if your dog gets depressed while you’re away. Dog immediately you step out: “Oh thank goodness she out” Takes to the couch And starts humping hard😂😂 You come home and see what the camera captured, what would be your reaction?

submitted 11 days ago • 160 comments

The Week After Valentine’s Day Lover: [smiling] Valentine’s was perfect! He even wrote me a poem. Situationship Survivor: [deadpan] Mine wrote me a ‘wyd’ at 11:47 PM. Chocolate Enthusiast: [munching] Couldn’t be me. I’m in a committed relationship with 70% off truffles. Singles? 👇🏾what’s urs

submitted 38 days ago • 28 comments

A prison bus and a cement mixer collided last week. This week, The news read; The Police said that we should look out for HARDENED CRIMINALS. Any idea where they might be?

submitted 49 days ago • 80 comments

I literally just sent ‘LOL’ without actually laughing. Then sent ‘No worries!’ even though I was very worried. Followed by ‘I’m fine’ when I was absolutely NOT fine. I'm starting to fear that my texts have become a labyrinth of lies. How do y'all live without this fear cos I need tips.

submitted 50 days ago • 64 comments

Linda bought a shelf from IKEA. The box said: ‘Easy assembly. 20 mins.’ 4 hours later: Linda is on step 38 of 12. She’s invented 3 new curse words. The shelf? Looks like modern art. Her relationship with Allen (the useless little tool) is toxic. But do you think she give up?

submitted 52 days ago • 52 comments

At some point, you used your childhood bike for the last time. And you never realized it.

submitted 60 days ago • 21 comments

submitted 77 days ago • 10 comments

I'm ready to tackle all the delicious possibilities 2025 has to offer! Bring on the new recipes, the new restaurants, and the new flavors! Happy new year 🎊🎆

submitted 86 days ago • 2 comments

I’m no PETA lady but I do think it’s pretty messed up that they make sweaters out of turtlenecks and tears out of crocodiles

submitted 88 days ago • 9 comments

Apparently the only way of dealing with my remote control that isn’t working is to bang it on the table and scream “COME ON”

submitted 88 days ago • 9 comments

Do ants poop?

submitted 88 days ago • 20 comments

Me: 🙋‍♂️ 'Merry Christmas!' Also me: 🥴 5 days ago Hope you all had a wonderful holiday and how many boxes have you unpacked despite my late wishes?🎄🎁 #Happyboxingday

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments