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danmentos.com
it’s too late I’ve ruined it
1,034 posts 17,139 followers 320 following
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Posts 14 Comments 36

dragging bags of trash up to the old wardrobe in my attic and tossing them into narnia

submitted 538 days ago • 11 comments

Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone Teller: So is this not a robbery? Me: No, it is

submitted 34 days ago • 29 comments

what idiot called it a ureteroscopy instead of Canon in D

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Once I passed out drunk at Georgia O'Keeffe's house and she drew a vagina on my face

submitted 75 days ago • 33 comments

*airplane makes really loud noise* *pilot on intercom* what the fuck was that

submitted 410 days ago • 5 comments

she quid my pro till I quo

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

who’s ready for the long weeknd?

submitted 638 days ago • 8 comments

roses are red violets are blue

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

one time I accidentally brought a pizza to a gunfight instead of a gun and we ate the pizza and resolved differences until the last slice of pizza was up for grabs and a gunfight broke out

submitted 10 days ago • 81 comments

so many time machines are going to arrive at a hospital nine months from now

submitted 11 days ago • 55 comments

How am i just now learning about the Spam folder. some great deals in here

submitted 13 days ago • 18 comments

crazy to think that it’s already the super bowl in australia

submitted 14 days ago • 41 comments

can't believe the DOGE team even has their own plane

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

billy joel: we didn’t start the fire detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire billy joel: shit

submitted 486 days ago • 23 comments