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danmentos.com
it’s too late I’ve ruined it
1,190 posts 17,817 followers 326 following
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Some lunatic befriended a wolf 20,000 years ago and now my best friend is a potato with ears

submitted 10 hours ago • 265 comments

I'm so used to bar bathrooms with cutesy signs that I had to stop here and ask myself if I was a Mario or a Wario

submitted 1 day ago • 340 comments

walking around with red dots painted all over my body to confuse snipers

submitted 334 days ago • 11 comments

as an american taxpayer, claiming a hallway as your home office is write off passage

submitted 93 days ago • 6 comments

i'm on bluesky for the scientific community

submitted 43 days ago • 398 comments

RFK Jr looking at this human spine like the hungriest man on the planet

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

Man, Garfield had the right idea. Sleep in a box, lasagna, hate Mondays & spiders, constantly nude, teddy bear, no genitals or anus, orange,

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

A movie from the year @buckyisotope.bsky.social turned 18

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

nearly twelve years ago, I tweeted “wook it up on googoo.” I no longer hold these beliefs. now I implore us all instead to go outside, finding the nearest vista. get on the ground, feeling the earth’s support, and take a vow to no longer seek answers. as answers can only be evident within siwence

submitted 76 days ago • 18 comments

one time it started raining and it made cool little rainbow specs on my phone screen so I tried to take a screenshot. I have a postgraduate degree in computer science

submitted 6 days ago • 21 comments

The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

me to my grandkids: we didn’t call it Depression I until there was a second one

submitted 7 days ago • 4 comments

the ancient egyptians made three disastrous attempts at building a huge cube

submitted 380 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 9 days ago • 4 comments

Feeling like a big dumbass working on my taxes right now. Who am I sending this money to

submitted 9 days ago • 465 comments

TRUMP TAKE NESTEGG

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Ohh "America First" was a hit list

submitted 10 days ago • 111 comments

submitted 10 days ago • 355 comments

guy named geoff: what should we name our daughter his wife brittani: how about steoffani geoff: *is just weeping tears of geoy*

submitted 85 days ago • 26 comments

Steven Cheung looks like a Far Side character. His briefcase is full of cow tools.

submitted 11 days ago • 69 comments