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dapperilla.bsky.social
gorilla soaring in the blueskies
68 posts 279 followers 165 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

“The eyes, chico. They never lie.” except when mine hit me with a double whammy of myopia and astigmatism at the ripe age of 24

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

my number one cooking tip is never cook any alcohol dish with a substitute because you're supposed to drink so much in the process that your sorry excuse of cooking tastes good

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Dating me is like dune 2 i don’t care what happens and i lack the effort to find out

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

They added the option to form groups on ig story replies so you can summon the whole squad to dog on your homie posting jordan peterson edits

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

As a man a hobby like gardening shows that i can care and provide for something . That being said, I just found out you can over water plants.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

“Don’t watch porn it’s unrealistic” two people having sex who aren’t me sounds pretty realistic to me

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I’m fluent in french but only with a mouthful of food

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Shoutout to smoking, the original ozempic

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

How you make a great villain is with a great problem and the worst possible solution. “Overpopulation is the cause of suffering .” “So what’s your plan?” “Killing half the people”

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

I’ll tell you what I know about subatomic particles, very little

submitted 89 days ago • 3 comments

"Get Well Soon" feels like a lot of pressure I'm not even sure I can get well eventually

submitted 89 days ago • 11 comments

Somebody told me to put my money where my mouth is and now all my money is also stuck to this metal pole

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

happy men’s day? there aren’t any

submitted 105 days ago • 1 comment

Epictetus predicted the paul v tyson fight

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve been too chalant lately

submitted 108 days ago • 3 comments

Are there any groupchats on here yet? I think I should ditch twitter for good

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

All this “work” bullshit has been getting in the way of my bsky time, I have to know which celebrity fell victim to collective shame today

submitted 403 days ago • 0 comments

I always wear my best when I go outside, because the police report saying the suspect was wearing “a medium washed japanese denim jacket with straight fit heather brown chinos” is so much nicer to hear

submitted 403 days ago • 0 comments

for sale: baby sheep, never shorn

submitted 429 days ago • 0 comments

Mariah Carey: I don’t want a lot for Christmas Me: *closes zillow*

submitted 435 days ago • 0 comments

As a man, if you say chrysanthemums to me I picture nothing

submitted 436 days ago • 0 comments

Dropping some inspiration on the feed

submitted 437 days ago • 0 comments

I love how alive my feed becomes for spotify wrapped, it’s almost like the queen died again or something

submitted 460 days ago • 0 comments

Pulp Fiction (1994)

submitted 503 days ago • 0 comments

this is what applying to jobs feels like

submitted 535 days ago • 0 comments

Go to college they said, you’ll get a job they said

submitted 537 days ago • 0 comments

Funny how you’re not supposed to look at your keyboard while you type and RGB keyboards just make that more difficult

submitted 538 days ago • 0 comments

I never tell people I play chess so that when we randomly play one day i crush them and act like I’m a natural

submitted 540 days ago • 0 comments

Coke vanilla sucks because it’s exactly as advertised, coke and vanilla and not an unrealistic third thing I expected for no reason

submitted 558 days ago • 0 comments

People only follow me because I’m sexy. Nobody follows a strange gorilla for their skeets.

submitted 558 days ago • 1 comment

I’m looking for jobs rn. where are these jobs people speak of? What do they look like? Do they get scared if you find them?

submitted 563 days ago • 0 comments

Idris elba launching his own line of macaroni and calling it Idris elbow

submitted 570 days ago • 0 comments

If stranger things was funny Joyce would tweet “I hope this email finds you will” and call it a day

submitted 570 days ago • 0 comments

If next update introduces DMs you bet your ass I’m thank you next-ing x

submitted 582 days ago • 0 comments

I can’t remember this joke on quantum physics, it just comes and goes in waves

submitted 582 days ago • 0 comments

How come no one’s talking about how oppenheimer’s trailer fails the bechdel test and barbie passes it with flying colours (mostly pink)

submitted 601 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry kids I missed your childhood I was trying to figure out which app to use to seek validation from strangers

submitted 603 days ago • 2 comments

The greatest trick the devil ever played.

submitted 604 days ago • 1 comment

If you lie down on the floor in McDonald's you get to meet the manager

submitted 604 days ago • 31 comments

Oppenheimer has built such an exclusive and high brow vibe while barbie is so inclusive and inviting

submitted 604 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I think, “what kind of cheese would be good in a cottage?” and immediately I know the answer.

submitted 605 days ago • 1 comment

me when I go viral: I deserved this me when I bomb: people are stupid here

submitted 606 days ago • 0 comments

Don’t mind me just posting the same tweet on twitter, bluesky and threads

submitted 607 days ago • 0 comments