darkpauldriscoll.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Crazy Taxi was such a good concept for a game. It’s all in the title. You’re mentally ill, and you own a taxi. Sign me up.

submitted 196 days ago • 292 comments

they should make video games so that they listen through your mic for the sound of a beer opening and when it detects it your character in the game will also have a beer in their hand

submitted 199 days ago • 208 comments

all the twitch employees ive ever met have been wonderful people BUT back when twitch was still "justin .tv" i was riding bart into 24th and mission and a guy in a justin .tv shirt had a fedora on and a hole was cut out of the back of the fedora and his ponytail was sticking out of it

submitted 197 days ago • 27 comments

submitted 203 days ago • 46 comments

flushing a lit cigar down the toilet as a gift to the boys down at the sewage plant

submitted 203 days ago • 4 comments

I stopped watching TV when it occurred to me that none of the characters has bothered to see a single episode of my life

submitted 207 days ago • 7 comments

my grandparents FOUGHT so my parents could MARCH so I could POST ONLINE so my children could be free 🇺🇸

submitted 207 days ago • 16 comments

ME: Do you ever get sad trying to remember the smell of the house you grew up in? DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?

submitted 208 days ago • 78 comments

"My Nightmare" i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft "My Nightmare"

submitted 208 days ago • 2 comments

(inventing Kirby) He is a testicle. An insatiable, breathing testicle. And his main enemy, it goes without saying, is the exact opposite: a penguin.

submitted 207 days ago • 1 comment

Telling my Betterhelp therapist I have a specific plan for buying all the crickets at PetSmart and eating them as punishment for a sin I can't even confess to her and she accidentally unmutes to reveal she's concurrently in a shoot out with police from the driver seat of her full UberXL.

submitted 210 days ago • 7 comments

My boss knows not to fuck with me when I’m on my apps. I’m in garageband right now when I should be adding product notes

submitted 210 days ago • 0 comments

ordered some pad thai from the place that gave me serious diarrhea last time and it was really fuckin good. but now i have diarrhea

submitted 210 days ago • 38 comments

I’m skeeting. This is skeeting now

submitted 211 days ago • 0 comments

It's a shame ejaculation is 3-4 pathetic squirts instead of what it should be: one superdense pearl of sperm. And it's impossibly hot. You need those huge blacksmith's gloves to handle it, and long tongs. If you drop it in a toilet it turns all the water to steam and immediately shatters the bowl.

submitted 211 days ago • 6 comments

going into the movie theater with a bulky leather jacket with one sleeve pinned up like ive got one arm, and once i sit down i slide a deli container brimming with cabbage soup out of the pinned sleeve and pop the lid and it instantly smells like fart within a 6 seat radius of me

submitted 211 days ago • 1 comment

Can we all agree that the black keys suck ass

submitted 211 days ago • 0 comments

Feel free to ask me questions. I will answer any question to the best of my knowledge

submitted 211 days ago • 0 comments

The date passed but friends, you know I had to acquire this shit

submitted 211 days ago • 14 comments

Paul Driscoll burgles turds. He was caught in the Hyatt bathroom trying stake claim to the handicap stall. Do not allow him in your hotel

submitted 211 days ago • 0 comments

Have spoken often to your little machine.

submitted 211 days ago • 15 comments

Hey Australians, now that you're here: are you interested in more Aus-focused climate and energy analysis content?

submitted 211 days ago • 210 comments

Brendan schuab sucks

submitted 211 days ago • 0 comments

Crazy Taxi was such a good concept for a game. It’s all in the title. You’re mentally ill, and you own a taxi. Sign me up.

they should make video games so that they listen through your mic for the sound of a beer opening and when it detects it your character in the game will also have a beer in their hand

all the twitch employees ive ever met have been wonderful people BUT back when twitch was still "justin .tv" i was riding bart into 24th and mission and a guy in a justin .tv shirt had a fedora on and a hole was cut out of the back of the fedora and his ponytail was sticking out of it

flushing a lit cigar down the toilet as a gift to the boys down at the sewage plant

I stopped watching TV when it occurred to me that none of the characters has bothered to see a single episode of my life

my grandparents FOUGHT so my parents could MARCH so I could POST ONLINE so my children could be free 🇺🇸

ME: Do you ever get sad trying to remember the smell of the house you grew up in? DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?

"My Nightmare" i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft "My Nightmare"

(inventing Kirby) He is a testicle. An insatiable, breathing testicle. And his main enemy, it goes without saying, is the exact opposite: a penguin.

Telling my Betterhelp therapist I have a specific plan for buying all the crickets at PetSmart and eating them as punishment for a sin I can't even confess to her and she accidentally unmutes to reveal she's concurrently in a shoot out with police from the driver seat of her full UberXL.

My boss knows not to fuck with me when I’m on my apps. I’m in garageband right now when I should be adding product notes

ordered some pad thai from the place that gave me serious diarrhea last time and it was really fuckin good. but now i have diarrhea

I’m skeeting. This is skeeting now

It's a shame ejaculation is 3-4 pathetic squirts instead of what it should be: one superdense pearl of sperm. And it's impossibly hot. You need those huge blacksmith's gloves to handle it, and long tongs. If you drop it in a toilet it turns all the water to steam and immediately shatters the bowl.

going into the movie theater with a bulky leather jacket with one sleeve pinned up like ive got one arm, and once i sit down i slide a deli container brimming with cabbage soup out of the pinned sleeve and pop the lid and it instantly smells like fart within a 6 seat radius of me

Can we all agree that the black keys suck ass

Feel free to ask me questions. I will answer any question to the best of my knowledge

The date passed but friends, you know I had to acquire this shit

Paul Driscoll burgles turds. He was caught in the Hyatt bathroom trying stake claim to the handicap stall. Do not allow him in your hotel

Have spoken often to your little machine.

Hey Australians, now that you're here: are you interested in more Aus-focused climate and energy analysis content?

Brendan schuab sucks

can think of no post more fitting for my first bluesky message than this, the famed "Big Boy Toilet Seat"

I am ready to post

this is what escaping twitter felt like