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daxjordan.bsky.social
Comedian. Might be cat.
78 posts 162 followers 177 following
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Posts 27 Comments 23

just fyi the ides of march is coming up, if anyone would like to do the funniest thing of all time

submitted 4 days ago • 33 comments

Adrian Brody's Oscar speech was so long it had an intermission.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 22 days ago • 16 comments

Villains.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Space Ghost Coast to Coast was the original Zoom meeting

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

They're sending my boy Paddington to Peru? Will it never end?

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 38 days ago • 34 comments

POTUS is fucking with the wrong people. I've worked for or with a dozen Trans and Non-binary literal geniuses. I do not know a single stupid or even average one. I'm the dunce in most rooms now, and I went off to university at 16 with a Mensa membership in my hand.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

I don't know about the SEC, but I'm betting the DSM-5 will list the Trump crypto coin as an Insecurity.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

This guy gets it

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Tesla bumper sticker idea: FASCISTS KILLED THIS MACHINE

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Can't wait to spend the next 4 years feeling like I'm tied up in the trunk of a clown car

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Wait we got the eating the dogs eating the cats guy what happened? I overslept!

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Unless it is actively your job to cover the inauguration, you do not have to participate tomorrow. You do not have to watch as a rapist, tyrant and traitor gets sworn in. You are not burying your head in the sand by not knowing what's happening at every beat. Love yourself more than you hate him.

submitted 52 days ago • 5 comments

Just saw a dyslexic stocking up on Kit Kats.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

I have a real sense of impending doom today but I think it's only due to impending doom.

submitted 54 days ago • 4 comments

I grew up in a farm town. Manure was our #2 export.

submitted 55 days ago • 1 comment

they should invent an aspect of human life that cannot be completely ruined in exchange for a short-term 1.4% increase in the profits of a private equity firm

submitted 59 days ago • 6 comments

The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat, is one that's still warm from the last person.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

A less well known classic Hollywood sound sample is Wilhelm's Cream. Nobody will admit it, but everyone has heard it.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

Great day to announce my new podcast "Hangin' with Mike Pence!" #itsariot

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

"Is there a MRS Worldwide?" -Pitbull Breeder

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

Privatizing the Postal Service could be devastating to those of us with pre-existing locations.

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

It’s me, @mariabamford.bsky.social I’ve just left Twitter. I’m a comedian and had used Twitter to connect with fans and other comedians. I’m not sure how to let people know I’m here. Ha-ha.

submitted 114 days ago • 906 comments

For sale: race car bed, never won

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

NYC, This THURSDAY (12/5) at 7 pm I'm doing my live video game show at @caveatnyc.bsky.social! We play bad games! Featuring: @therealtony.bsky.social @mohanadelshieky.bsky.social @garyjackson.bsky.social @alexfromoakland.bsky.social @danwilbur.bsky.social Nat Towsen Paris Adkins Link below!

submitted 102 days ago • 7 comments

This prediction was made before color and stereo sound in movies. So it's probably all that pizzazz that undermined the world peace effect.

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments