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decafcialis.bsky.social
96 posts 36 followers 46 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

Wiping my asshole with pages from the thesaurus to increase my vocabulary via boofing.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Hoover’s gotta be a top five beaver of all time.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

The haters are seething, steam blowing from their ears as I cozy up for a mid afternoon nap.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Watching the SNL 50 and unsurprisingly, lil Wayne does not still got it.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I bought red red redemption in Canada and the main character was a gay, black, trans woman raised by two fathers and the main quest was to roam the old west handing out free literature about Marxism. Is this not the game was meant to be played?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

What NFL quarterback would I need to hire to get a flaming shit bag at Donald trumps house?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Been treating my stomach bug with every trick and the book and nothing is working. Not the hot sauce in my beer, not the 34 dorito loco tacos, not even 14 hour break from drinking water.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

People say me and my girl broke up. Nah, I’m broke, she’s up.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

8008135

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Roses are red Violets are blue I am going to **** myself And so should you

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Who would win the the ultimate hate-off competition?

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Broke: having a beer with lunch Woke: having 15 beers for lunch.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine being one of those Amish 18 year olds that gets like a week to test out the modern world and you did it right now.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

“This weekends about to be a movie” The movie:

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

It’s a chiefs thing.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

In 2018, I slammed my penis in a car door, permanently impairing my ability to ready. Today, I have discovered new facts implicating none other than Gary Busey in setting off the chain of events when led to this tragic incident.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Hello China, I don’t have a tik tok but if you’d like to buy my data I am open for negotiations. Mr. President, you will have to outbid them.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Taylor Swift with Kelce now that he’s not a champion anymore.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

In 2022, people laughed at the Steelers for drafting Kenny Pickett. I bet they’d have been more excited if they knew he’d be a Super Bowl champion by the 2024 season.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Oh yes

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Quite possibly the most out of touch IG story of all time.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Waiting until 6:30 for the Super Bowl sucks ass. Only made worse by @nflonfox.bsky.social interviewing Trump and crying parents.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Teaching my son proper throwing motions in preparation of flaming shit bag season.

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Presidents should not be allowed to sign executive orders without first having won in hand to hand combat against representatives of both the House and the Senate if Congress’ choosing.

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

The audacity of people who are willing to vote for Trump and then post this on their IG stories is on another level.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah I’m a content creator. The content:

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Can we get some group chat action on here already? I’m tired of flipping back and forth between two twitters.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Alright Donald, hand over the doge agency. The brain genius is here.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Watching my weight by eating sloppy joes and watching the Simpsons.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

We really voted our way into being a third-world country on purpose.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

GRWM: shitting in various public bathrooms around the city.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

National media: omg did you guys hear about the NBA this weekend? The Mavs traded- Me:

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Shoutout all the morons who told me that being a hater was the wrong route in life.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Ned to hurry up and finish digesting all this bacon so I can start making chili dogs

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

80085

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Eating chili dogs and drinking beer to achieve the best possible beach body.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Drinking beer immediately after a workout so it hits harder.

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Debt is a social construct. Let’s all just collectively agree it doesn’t exist.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Every day is the weekend when you shut in your boss’ file cabinet.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Im Going To Put Your Mouth On The Floor (With My Fists ) Feat. DJ Very Small Penis

submitted 29 days ago • 18 comments

Is this thing on? I’ll take a baconator, 6 spicy nuggets and a small fry. Thanks.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I went to the boob store and everybody knew you.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments