dildo-baggins.bsky.social
You know that one uncle who doesn’t really say much at the family gatherings but only needs one hit off a weed vape to tell you about the time your dad got his hand stuck inside a cow’s asshole and you had to call 911? I’m on here now, pass the vape
9,583 posts
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I’m subscribed to the wrong subreddits. This is gold
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Iran’s “operation: taste of their own medicine” is proceeding as expected
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Gotta wonder if he’ll move the needle at all
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A bunch of social darwinists trying to develop herd immunity for drowning
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I didn’t scroll down far enough to see your response so now there’s your version and my needlessly wordy version
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Remember when early map apps used to mix up roads and rivers and some people died because they drove into water? What if we developed a technology that would do that on purpose?
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anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb
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Posts so bad they commit infanticide
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I’m starting to think that tech bros aren’t good at anything
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I mean just grab a mothballed Saturn rocket and put some gas in it.
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It’s not like you’ve made a complex cipher that we have to decode.
I’m sticking with “hillbilly elegist” for now, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they were searching for that word as well. The fourth reich is so fucking lame
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I’ll take mine like a Chewbacca’s bandolier. Then I can keep a holster full of mustard on my hip. A holstard, if you will
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Gunife
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This one is pretty good. Undoubtedly it filters some people who shouldn’t be on it but it’s really a small price to pay for peace and quiet
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It’s a straight up honey trap. He’s not gonna read any of these exchanges, it’s some dumb damp intern screenshotting any username that sends him a death threat. The only winning move is not to play
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I’m looking forward to the ai generated King Kong starring Kevin James or whoever
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In a perv’s imagination anything is possible
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Mmmm, chunky blue cheese
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“This episode brought to you by Ernie’s Floor Refinishing”
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A bunch of capitalist goobers who see themselves as Important because they were on Maddow one time all mad because we do not care at all
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Weird how all the ai girlfriends have giant cans
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I think they’re used to being found and followed by others simply because they were on Rachel Maddow once. Nope, you aren’t more important than anyone else on here. Also, dunking on someone who thinks they’re Important is wholesome fun.
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I’ve been pulling those sewn-on Carhartt logos from the front of my t-shirts for years because of that
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That’s a little unfair. Some of us also spent their college years thinking that. Abandoning those quips was like kicking heroin and west wing was our methadone
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I dunno, I fuckin’ love pop-tarts. I’m probably on my 3rd or 4th little guy. What makes them so tasty is the tiny tears of their loved ones as they weep over the pastry carbonite on its way to my belly.
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Sullen day over at SpaceX, I bet. “What do you mean it didn’t blow up?”
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When the label says “don’t operate heavy machinery” that includes teaching. And do not, under any circumstances, have it with your cofka (coffee and vodka, aka “the teacher’s pet”)
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I’m trying to think of when the internet wasn’t harmful. It might be just before they allowed animated gifs on geocities
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I shouldn’t have to know who any these people are. The internet was a terrible idea
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It’s a suckass condition
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Have you been to a doctor? I didn’t know they had a treatment for it until it was almost gone. I had it when I was a kid and the prevailing wisdom was “bite down on this stick for a few weeks”
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Fair
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Floppy slot would be the worst nickname for lady parts
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I didn’t know those ghouls were on here. Time to start a new blocklist!
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Best wishes to all your haters and losers
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Get his ass