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donutscoffeeme.bsky.social
Queen of stoner munchies. Hedonistic trollop. Fat kid. NSFWish. Pervy humor. General silliness. Mental health realness. Body positive. 41. She/her. FDT. 🌷🌻🏳️‍🌈 My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:yap3mq6zjuvocyxwtrdatbuk/feed/aaagwp4n4v4e6
1,803 posts 3,864 followers 860 following
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Posts 40 Comments 10

I'll try to find my funny again soon. Currently I'm just so overwhelmed I don't feel anything. Be kind to each other.

submitted 3 hours ago • 1 comment

When everything sucks, wear cute earrings.

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Your downward spiral or mine?

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

If the police can't find the cement truck that did this, it's $300 out of my pockets because a motherfucker couldn't be bothered to stop.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Insurance: Your deductible is $500 but because it wasn't your fault at all and some asshole didn't stop to give their information, you still have to pay $300. Fuck me.

submitted 14 hours ago • 3 comments

Existing is exhausting. I'm too tired for this shit.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

Ah yes. A hit and run car accident is just the thing I needed to follow up the entire air conditioner system dying.

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

Phone changed "well fuck" to "we'll fuck" and now I have a date for sympathy sex.

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

the woman who wrote im just a girl is churning butter and getting shit stains out of Blake Shelton’s chones

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Getting all my Juggalo friends to make donations during the NPR pledge drive.

submitted 17 hours ago • 7 comments

Your eyebrows have me concerned

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

My 14 year old just said ‘I bet judges just love bashing the hammer, and that’s not a euphemism’ and I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of her. Or convinced that she’s mine, come to think of it.

submitted 19 hours ago • 3 comments

a game of Strip Risk is called "Risqué"

submitted 18 hours ago • 3 comments

melting from the heat like a slab of butter

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

Wait, what's wrong with me if I have zero Lilys following me?

submitted 1 day ago • 33 comments

"Time is money" ok then I guess I don't have a lot of time

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

I already reposted you, what more do you want?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

She said she’d love me forever. She also said she loved my original romantic ballads so why’d did she have to smash my banjo

submitted 21 hours ago • 2 comments

Jumping to conclusions? With these knees?

submitted 17 hours ago • 5 comments

My house would be so much cleaner if you could pressure wash indoors.

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

my doctor posing for a picture with me like a fish after weighing me

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Guys can do any of these if we really concentrate while having a pee.

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

Alpha Male: - loud - sexist - not a real thing Alpaca Male: - loud - soft & fuzzy - women actually want one

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

[on a first date] So, my mother is really excited to meet you.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Asking couples that are about to kiss, “hey are you about to kiss?”

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Can't. Doing some Greek yoga.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

When I get a paper cut, I accept it as a small measure of justice for the tree.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know what age is too young to be a pharmaceutical rep, but these kids are really selling me on some Xanax today...

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

if you refuse to open your eyes when you wake up the day isn’t real

submitted 18 hours ago • 10 comments

Don't talk to me until I've turned the brightness up on my phone

submitted 18 hours ago • 5 comments

Everyone should follow sirstrange87.bsky.social. He writes great posts and is one of the most generous reposters on this app! Check him out, give him a follow and read his stuff. You’ll be happy you did

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

Biblically accurate fictional stories.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Her: What that mouth do though? Me: Seductively takes a bite of my corndog while maintaining eye contact. I instantly burn my mouth on the scolding hot corndog while mustard runs down my shirt and then with no warning at all I sneeze and blowing hot, mustardy corndog bits all over you.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

My type: someone supportive and warm who I can curl up and relax with. Wait, that's my bed.

submitted 18 hours ago • 5 comments

sad. you people are slipping

submitted 18 hours ago • 16 comments

a skinny bottle of shampoo or rounded tube of moisturizer, the end of a hairbrush, really you can make a penis out of anything in a pinch

submitted 17 hours ago • 20 comments

fate and karma are just obsessed stalkers who know your whereabouts at all times

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

Gonna need more coffee. Feels like it's about to be a long day battling my brain.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

I need approximately 6 minutes of spooning. That's enough. Stop touching me so I can go to sleep.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

June update incase no one reads these things. Thank you for the ones that do. A snapshot on a photo does not show the trauma my body has been through in the past. If you don’t like go fund me, my PayPal info is; [email protected] or e-transfer to [email protected] Xoxo Please Share if you can

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments