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doubleheadcalf.bsky.social
| cancer 🦀 | she/her | 24 | A working class Keira Knightley
36 posts 8 followers 13 following
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On tonight’s episode of “do I really have low self esteem or am I just a weird idiot with accurate self esteem?”

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

I need to stop screwing around with men who don’t even respect me. Makes me not even wanna respect myself.

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 132 days ago • 12 comments

I just remembered who verena schizophrenia was

submitted 137 days ago • 0 comments

just about everything in daily life (getting in touch with people, ordering food, watching a movie, etc.) should be like 35% more inconvenient to bring us back to mid-2000s levels of convenience

submitted 298 days ago • 7 comments

I’m sorry but mean people are just so boring.

submitted 301 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, I’m ten months sober. And yes, I would still like to order the piñata filled with gabapentin. Thanks!

submitted 301 days ago • 1 comment

Developing a passion and a sex drive overnight was my 9/11. You hear me??? MY NINE ELEVEN!!! 🛫🛬🛩️💥💨🏢🔥

submitted 314 days ago • 0 comments

Life is a slumber party

submitted 324 days ago • 0 comments

Pussy from a youth pastor

submitted 325 days ago • 0 comments

mother. fucker.

submitted 331 days ago • 14 comments

Stop moving to Austin, you freaks!! We are being priced out of our homes and we won’t have any water in 5 years anyway!!!

submitted 336 days ago • 0 comments

I hate car-centric culture so much

submitted 446 days ago • 0 comments

cmon man just one more freeway lane and then our car centric urban planning will finally work good just one more lane man

submitted 462 days ago • 9 comments

"what your dream job" I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ o̶f̶ l̶a̶b̶o̶r̶ I would like to be paid to not participate in society

submitted 476 days ago • 2 comments

french people when you actually pronounce every letter they put in their words

submitted 497 days ago • 43 comments

submitted 515 days ago • 5 comments

No group in modern society is more discriminated against than the very sleepy. Barred from prestigious jobs like airline pilot and forklift operator. Neglected by sleepist musicians who refuse to play shows that end by 9pm.

submitted 524 days ago • 28 comments

submitted 533 days ago • 0 comments

Reminder to anyone speaking ill of the dead this week: Sure it's fun, but you missed the chance to hurt someone's feelings. Life is precious. Talk shit about your enemies while they're still here. (And also after if you want.)

submitted 564 days ago • 5 comments

Narcissism has officially become pop psychology

submitted 568 days ago • 0 comments

ACAB includes people against the taco bell sex party.

submitted 575 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 580 days ago • 11 comments

Twitter officially died one year ago today. They couldn’t handle the idea of bringing neighbors chili.

submitted 584 days ago • 0 comments

Saw good metaphor other day. Voting like going to doctor, saying you're depressed, feel all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. Joe Biden." Good metaphor. Everybody vote. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

submitted 586 days ago • 2 comments

Crypto guys on the bad site are finally asking the big questions about AI

submitted 588 days ago • 99 comments

hey guys check this out

submitted 589 days ago • 29 comments

breaking news

submitted 589 days ago • 14 comments

This is apparently from San Francisco but same applies here.

submitted 592 days ago • 24 comments

Straight up got called out by the Trader Joe’s cashier tonight for being a poser because I was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt

submitted 592 days ago • 0 comments

synesthesia for a wonderful noise

submitted 594 days ago • 6 comments

For centuries, man has dreamt of a car that is also your friend. Now, we’re proud to present “Horse”

submitted 598 days ago • 9 comments

submitted 607 days ago • 17 comments

sports, math, art

submitted 607 days ago • 4 comments