elyntrea.bsky.social
I'm pretty much a little old lady now.
21 posts
5 followers
10 following
Regular Contributor
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the way I spit my coffee
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It's stupid. I know. But I just wish that they would be happy with me for being who I am, as I am, NOW, and not tell me how I could be better. That's probably what irks me so much. I've never felt good enough. and I wish they would stop having such big dreams for me. I'm not disney material. I'm 41.
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I just dont want to deal with PEOPLE. And I don't want to have people around me having such high hopes and expectations for me when all I know I'm going to do is let them down.
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I just dont feel good enough. there are too many people who are so much better than me and have been so much more successful. I have a job already. I dont want to make my hobbies another fucking job. They're hobbies for a reason. I mean sure if someone wants to buy something already made, go ahead.
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It's not as though I'm ungrateful that they're so amazed and believe in me so much, but the constant praise makes me feel like an imposter. I'm not that good. I'm not gonna be suddenly successful because I do my hobbies moderately well. My hobbies are hobbies for a reason.
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Let me rephrase that. The didn't tell me HOW to make money or build a portfolio; they just told me I SHOULD. and when I tried to explain to them it's not that easy to get some high paying job just because I draw/write/craft/cosplay okay-ish, they just tried to build me up even more.
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lucky!! I love snow so much! enjoy!
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I'm looking forward to seeing more stuff that puts a smile on my face. Youre my first follow because of it!