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esham.io
He/him Mastodon: https://functional.cafe/@bde
21 posts 31 followers 97 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 34 Comments 7

shakira but one hip only lies and the other only tells the truth

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I love leaving voice mails for my senators where I say things like "the USPS is very important to our country" as if I'm helping a small child with a book report or describing our civilization to an alien

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

How to Survive Having Eighteen Browser Tabs Open That Are All a Different “How to Survive This” Guide

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Don't use AI. Just stop. NO, not even for "good" reasons. If you don't give af about the fact it's built on stolen work (hey, mine are among the millions of works ripped off, btw), care about the devastating environmental impacts, the financial impacts. It's all bad.

submitted 7 days ago • 5 comments

YOUNG MAN, there's no need to feel down i said YOUNG MAN, pagliacci the clown you can SEE HIM he is playing in town you should go and have a good time

submitted 8 days ago • 71 comments

Why did he call his company Tesla and not Deus Volt

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

“I never thought leopards would eat MY face,” says leopard who is notorious for face eating

submitted 33 days ago • 2 comments

I will never use AI in my work. I despise it.

submitted 34 days ago • 24 comments

did andrew jackson write this

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know which is more ludicrous: that this “travel industry analyst” thinks that dressing for air travel is pretty much the same as dressing for confession, or that he thinks going to confession is a useful and understandable point of comparison in the year twenty twenty-five wapo.st/40y7fDy

submitted 37 days ago • 2 comments

Movement-by-movement review of Mahler’s Third Symphony: I. YES! II. Yes III. YES! IV. Okay, sure V. why is this here VI. YES!

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

It is always darkest before the boys are back in town

submitted 42 days ago • 33 comments

Reply guy?? I was matriculated at Oxford, sir. I am a Reply Fellow,

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

[anxiously trying to put wrinkly dollar bills in a mitten vending machine as an avalanche approaches]

submitted 45 days ago • 11 comments

Normalize shouting ROLL COAL! when someone tries to sell you an AI tool

submitted 45 days ago • 1 comment

the conference room to blurry zoom background to camera off pipeline

submitted 46 days ago • 6 comments

I had some real personal growth in 2024. I did not enjoy it and will not be doing it again

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

[december 2024] MUSK: I’m the president TRUMP: I’M the president, Elon BIDEN:

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

cursed seasonal recipe idea: tahdig toddy

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

You have to don gay apparel now, because of woke

submitted 76 days ago • 1 comment

[july 4, 1776] KING OF ENGLAND: biscuits are a type of pudding GEORGE WASHINGTON: okay, you know what—

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs

submitted 85 days ago • 19 comments

I had sworn to my father’s ghost I’d avenge his murder at the hands of his brother, then with aggrieved reason did drive my lover to drown herself, but slay her father and brother, and send bosom friends to their deaths before assassinating my uncle. AITA?

submitted 87 days ago • 52 comments

chatGPT and its ilk are primarily focused on solving common problems faced by STEM majors, namely reading and writing for themselves

submitted 89 days ago • 16 comments

spotify has a new playlist called 'screams'. after 5 minutes you recognize the screams as your own. after 30 you realize you never pressed play

submitted 91 days ago • 17 comments

joe biden pardoning his son isn’t enough. he needs to get him drafted by the lakers

submitted 91 days ago • 9 comments

one good thing about being stuck at the bottom of a well is you're immune to attacks from pretty much every kung fu style

submitted 96 days ago • 14 comments

Today, we’re thrilled to announce that Shitting Your Pants has been rebranded as Farting+

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Just when I thought I've seen it all, a PostgreSQL extension shows up that allows you to embed a SQLite database inside a table. github.com/frectonz/pgl...

submitted 104 days ago • 87 comments

Message to my haters: I’m on your side. Let’s work together to take this guy down

submitted 104 days ago • 1 comment

This is what raw milk proponents look like to me

submitted 105 days ago • 26 comments

Mothman’s Mom: Take a sweater Mothman: Mooommm I don’t WANT a sweater Mothman’s Mom: You might get hungry!

submitted 108 days ago • 8 comments

We had a Brat summer but now it’s time for Les Fleurs du Mal winter.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

As a child I always pictured myself winning hollow victories in recondite arguments about compute loads on clusters of computers in distant and anonymous datacentres

submitted 108 days ago • 3 comments