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flappybara.bsky.social
swe | gamer | cat servant | lurker play: civ, cities:skylines, ck3, zelda, factorio, god of war, horizon watch: chiefs, badgers
101 posts 245 followers 1,228 following
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Posts 23 Comments 25

What’s wrong, babe? You haven’t touched your Eggo-brand alcoholic Appalachian sippin’ cream

submitted 2 days ago • 290 comments

[finally standing up to a bully] hey asshole... [but remembering that first and foremost I am a poet] I will engulf you like a fog

submitted 479 days ago • 21 comments

You don't want to tell your children that all you did during this time was post. You should be podcasting too

submitted 17 days ago • 231 comments

Reposting me let's your followers know you like alternative rock

submitted 17 days ago • 64 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

When I was 25 I was sad I had not written The Great American Novel. At 55, I realize there's no Great American Novel, there are merely the stories I'm the best person to tell. Don't worry about how others see greatness. Work on being the best version of who you are and what you can do in the world.

submitted 23 days ago • 159 comments

Touch grass. Now touch stone. Now touch water. Now spill blood inside the glyph. Now light the brazier

submitted 23 days ago • 87 comments

RFK Jr looks like an Eli Valley drawing of himself

submitted 24 days ago • 53 comments

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

My kitten: Daddy, I need to clean you so that you are clean. Me: Thank you my son. My kitten: Now you smell like Whiskers Kitten turkey in rich gravy. Me: I am blessed.

submitted 31 days ago • 41 comments

Just a warning about Casper mattresses: they do NOT hold up. I’ve had mine for just a couple of years and it was doing fine, but recently got into a Little Nemo-type situation and the bed broke up over the North Atlantic. Ended up needing a Coast Guard rescue and they laughed at my big nightshirt

submitted 32 days ago • 31 comments

Never going to forget or forgive a single fucking person who supported him.

submitted 34 days ago • 403 comments

"caltrops" is too cool a word for them to be so rare in our lives

submitted 34 days ago • 31 comments

spending so much time with the boys that our diarrhea syncs up

submitted 34 days ago • 30 comments

They killed Jim Henson because he was on the verge of building a muppet that had a soul

submitted 35 days ago • 134 comments

Man goes to doctor. Says his ass hurts. Says it's from sitting at computer all day. Says he sits until his ass hurts. Says he sits at computer during work and after work. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Sit at computer less. Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor…I love sitting at computer'

submitted 38 days ago • 42 comments

if i ever own a fancy restaurant there will be a butler guy in each restroom who offers your a warm kitten as you enter. plucks em out of a basket with some big shiny tongs. the finer things

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

BUCK: Welcome to Progressive Monday Night Kickoff. Today's game is Mutual Aid vs. Redistributive Policy. Troy, what do you see happening out there? AIKMAN: I still don't understand how these aren't synergistic objectives, Joe.

submitted 40 days ago • 16 comments

I’m a #resist liberal in 1920’s Italy. I spend most days writing glib little notes to the newspaper describing Il Duce as “a little fruity.” This morning I stood in the back of a fascist rally and whispered “More like Mussoweenie” under my breath and the guy next to me chuckled. Blackshirts shot him

submitted 40 days ago • 19 comments

You will never succeed at fighting right wing disinfo with facts. Right wingers believe the first thing they hear & they'll believe it for life. They'll fight to the death about some inconsequential bullshit they just heard 5 seconds ago. You beat them by calling them weird assholes & isolating them

submitted 42 days ago • 481 comments

submitted 42 days ago • 173 comments

the two things I believe most strongly in this world are that public services should be wholly replaced by the private sector and that the government should intervene instantly the second I personally feel a little bit scared

submitted 45 days ago • 198 comments

Los Angeles now.

submitted 46 days ago • 9 comments