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foxy99.bsky.social
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The secret I have for you all is that the more you do love and allow yourself to love, the more able you are to feel love in your heart. The more love comes to you when you need it. The more your heart will have love within it even when times are hard.

canada i love you so fuckign much

tongue-kiss me in the back of spencer’s by the posters like it’s 1992

So glad I’m not a Federal employee because I can’t remember what I was doing 5 minutes ago.

“On a scale of Judge Judy to a French circus clown who has just taken his first hit of acid and is trying to hold it together while still delighting the audience, how whimsical are you?” “Oh, I’d say I’m a cross between Mary Poppins and a bachelorette party.”

who up anthropomorphizing they inanimate objects

Found a bottle of Bual Madeira while rummaging through the wreckage of my life. I might have a nip or three this evening.

After a day spent doing yoga, then Pilates class, to the stables for riding, late afternoon cross country skiing, no, wait, I passed out during downward dog and just came to. Ready for a nightcap, then back to bed.

I hope the Pope doesn’t die before appearing on Hot Ones.

Me [checks note]: Is this where I go for a headshot? I'm not sure I got the address my agent wrote correct. French Foreign Legion Captain: Yes, please, come in and stand against that wall there. Would you like a final cigarette?

My mom said I'm good boy. But so far nobody has loved my picture 😢💔

A montage of people rolling my turtleneck collar up over my face mid conversation

“I’m sorry, Harold, but I can’t take it any more. The uncatchable laser light, taunting me with yarn, the bird in the cage…it’s just too much. I’ll be at my sister Phyllis’. You can send my things there.”

I still don’t even think Paul is a real name what the fuck is that

Souvenirs are like "here, please remember my vacation that I took without you"

coming this holiday season

i got stung by a radioactive bee i can't fly or make honey, but my knees look fucking spectacular

I'm all for replacing one problem with another.

[removing earbud at the apocalypse] was that today?

It’s funny how our priorities change as we get older. 20 years ago I wanted money. Now I want a backyard garden full of dahlias.

I want to walk along a beach in Maine in wool and linen with a terrier while my butch housekeeper tidies up the corpse of a long dead sea captain at home. Also oatmeal raisin cookies with chocolate chips. Raisinets. Joe Raisinets Biden. I could do Cornwall. Or Wales. But I like speeding.

So. It has officially happened. I have been officially let go from my position at CDC. I wasn’t a probationary employee. I had stellar performance reviews every year. I’ll be ok. But please understand that many worked HARD to get into these positions and were doing great public health work.

Maintaining an indescribable balance without too many changes has such a certain status ne sais quo that even a little bit makes you kinda Esperanto

So glad Dems steadfastly refused to stray from established norms.

Find your bliss. Mine is classic ignorance. I don’t know shit. You can’t bother me, I’m too fuckin dumb ya bozo

In the depths of the Nebraskan winter, 2400 people came out to listen to Bernie Sanders in Omaha last night. 800 had to be turned away at the door. Over 190,000 tuned into the livestream. There is a movement to be harnessed here. @sanders.senate.gov (📸 Anna Bahr)

This is like Day 4 or 5 of Migrainetown so I’ve completely given up on syntax or grammatically correct sentences. Typos are now my friend. Forgive me.

Dragging a bathtub over to the Small Appliances section at Walmart.

My cloaca is barking, trying to keep up with demand for eggs.

horse: another round of straw for the table camel: (nervous laughter) right on man, awesome

I’m not sure what’s going on here but would you like an Advil?

If multiple groups of troubled white people showed up at my luxury resort, I would simply shut things down for a week

i dont understand how someone as basic as i am can have so much stomach acid

Let’s be honest, it’s not just the summer that’s cruel.

"that's a nasty habit you've got there" i declare, as i goose Sister Agatha

I’m more of a fiddling while rome burns than a playing as the titanic sinks kind of shitposter

i don’t have trust issues. i pay attention. and believe in patterns.